Breath Of Light
by astridll
Summary: The night when Carlisle drives home is not meant to be special, but it gets. A simple meeting with a girls who need help, get him to take her home, and he realizes against his will she's different. Soon her dark past is thrown on them, and what at first looks like an angel turns out to be a troublemaker. Will contain spanking, and dark themes. Do not like it, do not read it.
1. Chapter 1

PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU BEGIN!  
I'm from Denmark, so English is not the language I write in normal. Therefore, there may be some grammatical spelling errors.  
Besides that, I would appreciate your opinion, as it is an idea I've been working on long, and has written much on. It is most Carlisle that is in focus and my own person, but the rest of the Cullen family are also included.  
**IMPORTANT:** This story will one involves spanking, and dark past (rape can be included, but nothing is described in detail.)  
**IMPORTANT** this story is built on Carlisle cares stories, so what happened in them is the past of my story. It is mostly used to look back on, so it is not important to have read them, but I Refer to them, and Jacob, Leah and Seth lives with the Cullens, AND THERE IS NO Renesmee! (sorry)  
beyond that there is nothing more to say than thank you to Carlisle Cares, and all rights belong to stephenie meyer.  
enjoy the story

* * *

Carlisles P.O.V

"Thank you Madison," I said politely, and took the clipboard with fresh papers for my next patient.

"You're welcome Dr. Cullen, your next patient is in room number two," said Madison, and seemed uninterested in what she said, and stared at me daydreaming instead. It was a habit she and the rest of the female nurses had, every time I came into the room. Esme teased me often with it, but even though they continued to flirt and send me long glances, she knew how I felt about it. She knew I loved her and no one els.

I found it hard not to smile, as I walked down the hallway, when I remembered Molly. She had worked at the hospital in the last town we lived in, and had been wilder than the rest of the nurses. Twice I had stopped her from unbuttoning my shirt up while we were alone in my office, where she often had sneaked in, and waited for me to come back. In the beginning, I just laughed at it and shook my head over it, but she kept pushing. Soon there was little notes with poems on when I come back from lunch, and one day she sat naked on my desk. Unfortunately, for her I had been with my colleague, I had been standing and talked with, and he had to borrow some papers. Therefore, we went down to my office and we had both looked quite frightened, when we opened the door. The poor girl had been sitting there naked, and I had somehow felt sorry for her. If my colleague not had been there, I might be able to salvage the situation and get her out of my office, without making a drama out of it. But it was not the situation, and she ended up running crying out of my office. It was the last day she came to work, and later I heard she had moved to New York.

When I the same night had told Esme the story, I had been afraid she would be jealous, but she had laughed loudly and teased me for a long time.

It was my Esme.

It was the woman I had fallen in love with, who had a gentle heart and a beautiful laughter. Although life as a father of nine sometimes seemed hard, and without mercy, I knew Esme was at my side.

I sighed dreamily at the thought of her, and her gentle topaz colored eyes, that looked with great tenderness at one. At that moment, I wished more than ever that my work was over, and I could go home to my family. It was not because I did not love my job, but I loved my family more than anything on earth.

When I came down the hall, I was completely in my own thoughts about my family, so I forgot the goofy smile on my lips, and entered glad into the room.

"Good afternoon sir," I greeted kindly, and came over to the hospital bed. "My name is Carlisle Cullen," I introduced, and extended his hand in greeting.

The man, who lay before me in a hospital bed, was about fifty years old with the first gray hair, mixed in between golden lures. He was a bit muscular, and he seemed like he was in good condition. Because I was a vampire, there was a strong smell of cigarettes over him, with a mixture of sweat. His skin seemed unhealthy, because of he was passive smoker, and his face was wrinkled.

"I'm Jordan Jackson," he introduced with a hoarse voice, but did not take my hand in greeting. He sounded like he was going to get a fit of coughing, and his lungs did not sound too good in my ears.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Jackson ..."

"Just spare me for all that Sir and Mister, will you? Jordan is fine, "he interrupted, and sent me a boyish smile that melted atmosphere up. "I'm fine with my first name,"

"Good so ... Jordan, what can I do for you?"

It was not because I couldn't figure it out, since he had an ice pack on his left arm, and it so sore out. But I would like to be polite to him, and it was easier to get into conversation this way. I had so far nothing against Jordan, and he seemed like a nice person, although he should stop smoking. He did not seem nervous with my presence, and had not shown anything except kindness.

"My arm hurts," he explained, and looked down at his arm.

"I've tried something like this before with my arm, but the last time it did not hurt so much and I just want to be sure there is nothing wrong,"

"Always better to be safe," I conceded, and went over to the other side of the bed to inspect his arm. "Do you mind if I take a look," I asked kindly, and pulled a chair over to the bed.

"Just do whatever you must," he laughed, and had no problem letting me inspect it. He just leaned back into the pillows, and looked curiously on what I was doing.

I started gently pressing around the forearm, and he complained a few places. I could quickly ascertain it was not broken, and I began instead to find out if it could be sprained. It was not impossible that it just made a lot of pain, but I'd rather be safe.

"How did it happen?" I asked curiously, trying to start a conversation up while I was working. I always appreciated knowing my patient's story, because it sometimes helped me, to help them get better. It was also a way to get the conversation going on, and many forgot I was a doctor, which someone connected with pain and needles. Jordan did not seem like the type, but you could never be sure, and it did not harmed to start a conversation with him.

"I was out hunting," he explained, and stretched gently his body. I didn't noticed until now, that his clothes was all in shades of green, and he had a holster with ammunition beside him. The gun he probably had to leave out at the counter, or in his car, but he looked like someone who had been out hunting.

"Was it in Forks forests you hunted? I do not recall seeing you here, "I said, interested, and pressed at a point that made him whine softly.

"Arrhh, it hurt," he gasped, and made an ugly grimace. "And no, I'm not from Forks. I'm from Seattle and hunt in my spare time. There was an report about that there was seen a white wolf near Forks forests, so me and my friends made a bet about who shot it first, "

In a moment everything inside me went in shock ... there was seen a wolf, and I was immediately worried, that it was one of my three wolves children. I was quickly remembered that none of them was white, and took it more calmly. I reminded myself to call Sam when I got home, and get Jake, Leah and Seth to promis, not to run around in the woods for a while.

"I have not heard of any white wolf ..." I said, wondering, and were completely sincere. Emmett always made sure to know what was going on, in the hunters world, so we were prepared if there was a large hunting team in the area, or there were problems with predators somewhere. A white wolf would not have escaped his notice, although we did not hunt them any more. Since Jacob, Leah and Seth had become a part of our daily lives, and had moved into our house, we all had dropped chasing wolves. It felt a bit like we killed one of them, and not just our food. Emmett had directly called it cannibalism, and I agreed with him.

"It was first seen late yesterday, near Forks," Explained Jordan, and was engrossed in telling the story. "A small group of hunter had seen it near Port Angeles, in the direction of Forks. One of the hunters happen to my friend, and he quickly called to invite me to the next day's hunting, "

"So you saw the wolf?"

"Yes ... it was that beast that caused my arm to hurt like hell," complained Jordan, and looked irritated on his arm, and tried to move his fingers. Which caused him to make an ugly grimace and he turned instead back to the story.

"It was about two hours after we had entered the forest, I saw it. It was raining heavily at the time, and the others sat in the shelter for a while ... but I'm from Seattle, where it rains as much as here, and in a way, I enjoy the rain. Therefore, I was the only one who saw it, and that beast surely saw me, "

"Did it attack you," I asked curiously, and looked already after bite marks, on the visible parts of his body. In my head I was already planning a treatment against bites or marks after wolf claws. Both would be filled with bacteria and should receive treatment quickly.

"In a way," muttered Jordan, who was busy looking at the arm, and what I was doing with it. "when it saw me was it first afraid, and I carefully moved a little forward, ready to fire the first shot off. It had the tail between it's legs, which is a classic sign of it's in fear, so I figured it would try to escape. It continued to whimper pitifully while I was aiming at it ... but then it did something unexpected, "he said, and in his eyes, I could see how the whole experience, played through his head.

"Most wolves are trying either to run or attack ... but this confused me. One moment it was scared, but the next moment it ran toward me, at full speed. At first I thought it was going to attack, and was about to take aim. But it ran into me instead, and I lost my gun. I was sure it would bite me, but instead it ran ahead and escaped. When it crashed into me, I think its paw stepped on my arm. That why I'm sitting here now, because I'm unlucky ... no dramatic battle, or a large bite to show the ladies, when it becomes a scar, "he laughed, and I discovered that I was smiling to.

"It sounds like you have been out for a quite dramatic story," I laughed and got up from the chair, after writing the last few notes. "As far as I can see, your arm is not broken, but it looks like it's sprained. A nurse will be here in a moment, to take you down to the X-ray machine. Afterwards another doctor will look at the results, and tell you what to do, depending on what results you have. Unfortunately am I off now, so it will not be me who will help you after the X-ray pictures, but I wish you good luck with your arm, "I said politely, and held out my hand to say goodbye. "It was nice to you,"

The next thing that happened is something I never is going to understand. There was something special about that moment, that I just cannot explain ... something which in a way did not make sense, but at the same time was filled with an important knowledge. It makes me scared to think back on it, but there was something important about it, which I never regret I was told.

"It was a beautiful wolf," he said suddenly, and grabbed my forearm with his healthy hand, instead of taking my hand to shake it. "You may think I'm crazy, but there was something special about the wolf. I'm not sure, but I think it was a she Carlisle. Its fur ... it looked like fresh snow lying on an untouched field, where it would never be gray and dull. It was so small and fragile, that I doen't think it will survive the winter, but it was the most beautiful wolf I have ever seen. I swear ... a moment, it looked like that it understood it all, and knew what was going to happen. "He murmured, and was lost his own thoughts.

A part of me was paralyzed over his words for a few seconds, without knowing why ... but it seemed like I had witnessed this before, or had seen the wolf before ... as in a dream. His description of the seemed familiar, as if I had met it.

"Goodbye," I whispered low, and pulled my hand free of his grip, before I quickly walked out the door. For some reason his words terrified me, and I wanted to be far away from him.

It is not easy to scare a vampire, but something about the tone in his voice, and the way he looked at me, had my dead heart beat ... not for love or compassion, but with fear.

Therefore, I hurried into my office, where I quickly got my big old medical bag, before I signed myself out for the day. I had never felt so relieved to sit in my beloved black Mercedes, and know I was home soon. When I got out on the highway, I felt calmer and was able to relax.

The logical part of me was able to see, how stupid I was, to have reacted so much of few words. They had in no way been offensive, and they were not meant to make me frightened. It seemed silly that I had run away in that manners, of something that could hardly be called a threat.

I was a vampire, and he could not touch me in any way.

But my imagination had a more powerful grip on me.

There was something about the way he had looked at last, who told me he had seen more than that, he had told me. In his eyes, I could see a whole other story, that was told by a man who was confused and scared. He'd probably been in need of to tell someone, and I was the closest one to hear.

Jordan had probably just had a shock, I decided with myself, and loosened my grip on the steering wheel. The meeting with the wolf had made more impression on him, than he knew, and perhaps he felt guilty, because he had tried to kill it. He had even mentioned it was beautiful, and many people found it difficult to kill something, that was innocent and beautiful.

I nodded to myself by the rational explanation and relaxed completely.

The positive side of, that he had said the last words to me, was that I knew the wolf was not one I knew. It was indeed just a stray wolf, and not someone from the packs, so there was no danger for my family. There were now many wolves in the two packs, but I knew for sure that none of them was white. In addition, he said it was a small and fragile wolf he had seen, and it was certainly none of them were small and thiny. They were all big as bears, and seemed very masculine. Even Leah had something masculine about her, so it gave me some kind of peace, that he had told me how the white wolf looked.

I never got longer in my thoughts, when my eye immediately caught a movement, far ahead at the highway.

At first I was not sure what it was I saw, because the sun had gone down, but the closer I got, the more clearly it became.

A man should much closer to see it, but my vampire eyesight gave me an advantage. Even before a telescope was able to as much as see it, I could see the outline of a body. Its movements seemed limping, and when the person felt down on her knees, I began driving faster. The closer I got, the more clear became the Person, and I quickly saw it was a young woman. At first, I was unsure if there was any need of help, but then I realized she was naked, and speeded up as high as I could get.

Something about this was completely wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Carlisle P.O.V

Chapter 2

I could not believe what I saw, as my car approached with rapid speed. Even in the darkness she was clear to me, while she limped in the roadside, without even noticing the noise from my car. A part of me did not understand why no one had seen her before now. It had rained earlier in the day, and her hair hung wet down her shoulders, so I knew she had been outside for long.

It made me angry to know that no one had thought to stop, to ask if she needed a ride, or some clothes! It was obvious for all that she needed help, and I saw red at the thought, that people could drive cold-hearted past!

_Deep breaths Carlisle, in out, in out._

I Repeated to myself, and weakened the hard grip on the steering wheel. My feelings about what I saw was a big mess, and I was worried and angry at the same time.

Although I had a lot of speed on the car, and was forced to stop the car hard up so that the wheels squealed, was their no reaction from the girl. Instead, she kept walking straight ahead, as if she could see something I couldn't. She continued to limp on one of her leg, while she held her right arm close to her body. My eyes could clearly see more than one abrasions on her body, and down her back, where a large bruise that looked like something from a fall.

All that was something I saw in a second, before I quickly got out of my car, and took my coat of in the same time.

"What happened ," I asked worried , and was now up beside her . Without her permission, I placed my jacket around her shoulders, and her eyes met with a shock mine.

I was a three hundred year old vampire, and in my time I had experienced and seen a lot, but this seemed new even to me ... like an art piece that was unique. Her eyes were not just blue, but the brightest blue I had seen in a long time. They reminded me of a lighthouse in the darkness, that guided you in the night. I am not even sure if a painter could mix the right color, to paint her. The bright blue color was like ice crystals that shined in the dark, and glittered in competition with the moon.

But there was nothing happy about them. They seemed afraid, as if they were trying to get you to stay away. There was no happy feelings in them, and they seemed cold and broken. I had a feeling of looking into her soul, and all I saw was frozen or hidden away.

At that moment, she stepped frightened away from me, and pulled me out of my thoughts. Her whole body was shaking with a mixture of coldness and fear, as she slowly stepped away from me. Her heart continued to beat in a rapid rhythmic beat, and her breathing was fast.

"It's okay, I will not hurt you," I said calm, and pulled my hands up in front of me, so she could see where I had them.

I knew that I could not just grab her and carry her to my car, without scaring her witless. It would most likely only get her to go more in shock, and she would not build any kind of trust to me. I wished more than ever that Jasper was here, but he did not come out of the air, so I tried to talk with her.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen," I presented myself, and went a little step closer. My coat was already falling down her shoulders, and the only thing that held it up, was her arms that she held close to the body. "I do not know if you realize where you are, but this is one of Forks highways, you know where Forks is?" I asked gently, and tried to get her to talk.

However, I was not so lucky and the only answer I got was a slight shake of her head, while her eyes kept looking at me, filled with horror.

"Forks are a few hours away from Seattle, and less time from a town called Port Angeles, you know some of them?" I asked, and asked about both cities in a hope to get a verbal answer. I knew from earlier occasions, it was easier to get people to trust you if you started a conversation, and I desperately needed her to trust me.

But no matter how much I tried, she remained silent, and this time she didn't even shook her head. She remained in perfectly in place and looked watchfully at me.

"It must be cold out here," I said gently, and changed the subject. I could clearly see how her body shook uncontrollably, as she hugged her arms to the chest. Her ribs where fully exposed, so you could count every single one of them under her skin. As a doctor, I would not say she had anorexia, but she was definitely underweight. "The heat is on in my car, and you seem to be hurt," I continued, and took a step closer.

I knew I had to get her into my car soon, but If she wasn't going to come of free will, I had no choice, and was forced to use my vampire strength to reach her. From there I had to get her into the car, and give her a sedative shot from my medical bag.

But I also understood her fear. I could not imagine what she'd been through, that could get her to end up in this situation, but it couldn't be anything good.

"Do you want to tell me your name," I asked with the gentlest voice I could make, and changed the topic again, hopping she would answer something.

She looked confused at me when I had asked the question ... as if she did not understand why I asked. Her eyes continued to rest on me, while it looked like she was thinking about whether tell or not. She seemed incredibly scared of me, but I could also see she wanted to tell her name ... it was a simple question, and she wanted to answer.

"Claire ..." she finally whispered, so low that it was hard for me to hear it.

"Claire, that's a beautiful name," I hastened to say, and gave her a big smile.

She actually looked like someone named Claire. I do not know how, but it seemed like the name was created for her. There was something about her, who seemed so innocent and fragile that I wanted to take her in my arms and cradle her gently, while I told her everything was okay. It seemed as if the name where made for her soul, that was hidden behind her eyes.

"If you would like," I began, and took a small step forward. "Then I'm Doctor, and it does not look like your arm and leg is felling to good ... I could maybe take a look at it, and help you?" I suggested, and gave her my warmest smile. On my head I could feel the first raindrop, which told me it would rain soon, and I would like to have her in my car before that.

But instead of nodding head slightly, or just take a step closer, Claire took a step away from me. I could see how her eyes widened, close to being in shock, while her heart began to beat faster.

"Not a hospital," she whispered frightened, and took a step farther away.

I realized in the same moment what the problem was, and had not even considered taking her there. My brain had from the first moment, decided that I would take her home, even though the hospital would be logical. I wondered for a moment what had caused me to take the decision, and not consider the hospital for a moment.

"I can bring you home to me instead," I hastened to say to reassure her. We both knew who would win the battle, if she didn't came willingly into my car, but I would be easiest if trusted me. "I have all the equipment's I need, and a bed to sleep in, if you are interested?" I tried gently to make my proposal more interesting, but Claire did not look convinced. "My wife is there too," I continued, trying to reassure her there were other people, if she was scared of me. "All my children say she is great to cook, and I 'm sure she would not mind making something you could eat." I used all the tricks I had, and Claire seemed to be close to saying yes, so I said it last thing I could think of. "You don't need to be afraid of me, I just want to help, and if you do not want to tell what happened, so I accept it," said I, and threw the last card on the table. Now the question was only whether I had won or lost.

Slowly, but it was not to be mistaken, she nodded slightly. Her eyes looked wary on me, but then she took the first step towards me, unsure if she should continue, but I held out my hand towards her and she took a step more.

Two more steps, and I could reach out for her hand.

Her feet was moving slowly but safe, and it seemed like a thousand years had passed, before she stood in front of me. She seemed unsure of what she should do, so gently without frighten her, I pulled the jacket on her shoulders again and buttoned it.

"This way," I said softly, and laid my hand on her shoulder, to guide to my car. When I had made sure she was okay and comfortable, I pulled my phone out of my pocket, and sent a message to Esme. I did not go into the details of what had happened, but explained that I had a guest with me home, and she had to send all the children over to the cottage. I did not want to scare Claire, with Emmett's presence, and although Jacob was sweet and gentle from a distance, he could be a little devil, or even worse, if he and Rose come up and argue.

Witch all could result in that Claire panicked.

I cannot say how relieved I was, when our house finally came into view, and I could see the light in the windows. The ten minutes with Claire in the car had been awkward for both of us, and none of us had could find anything to say. Therefore, there had been silent through the whole ride, and I was happy Esme was here now, as she might find it easier to get the girl to talk. Claire did seem comfortable with my presence at this moment, and a woman might make her more comfortable. Besides, Esme had an amazing ability to get people to relax and feel loved when she was nearby.

In the moment I drove into the garage, I saw Esme was standing in the door to the kitchen.

Her face told me right away, how worried she had been by my message. It was a mixture of relief and confusion, as she slowly walk toward the car. She knew something was wrong, since I sent the kids away from the house, but she had no idea about whom I was bringing home.

I turned my head over to Claire, to see how she made it so far, and she was nervous already. Her face was a tad whiter at the sight of Esme, and her hand had a desperate grip on my jacket, around her shoulders. I had to assume that she didn't like strangers.

"Let us get you into the heat," I suggested, and put my fingers on her chin so she looked at me. "You don't have to be afraid of us," I said for the twentieth time that night, and looked directly into her blue eyes.

With those words, I got out of the car and gave a quick smile to my wife, before I went over to the other side of the car and helped Claire out. For many reasons, it would be easier just to carry her into the house, which would spare her for a lot of pain and be faster. But it could work for urgent on her, and right now it looked like she would rather run, than to go one more step towards Esme.

So instead of lifting her up in my arms, I laid a supporting arm around her shoulders, which also prevented her from escaping.

I looked hesitantly at Esme, after I had helped Claire out of the car, to see how she reacted. Her face was now a mixture of confusion, pity, curiosity and the motherly expression only she could get. Without saying a single word, I knew how much she wanted to take the strange girl in her arms, and shields her from all dangers. It was only Esme who could feel that way from the first moment, and I loved her for it.

"Carlisle, what 's happened? " asked Esme, with her gentle beautiful voice, that drew me out of my mind and into reality. I could feel Claire tried to move away from me, by the sound of Esmes voice. The only thing that prevented her from moving, was my arm around her shoulder.

"Esme," I greeted with a smile, while I gentle pushed Claire forward. "This is Claire, who I picked up on the way home, Claire this is Esme my wife," I presented, and pushed Claire the last bit forward, so that she was standing right in front of her.

"Nice to meet you Claire," said Esme warmly, and stretched out her hand. Claire looked hesitant on it, but then took it in hers, and shook hands.

"Nice to meet you too," she said softly, and quickly release her hand again, like a little shy girl.

Esme looked confused at me for help, and a question burned in her eyes. I could tell she really wanted to help the poor girl, but was not sure how, and was afraid to make her uncomfortable.

"Esme could you possibly help Claire upstairs, she needs a hot bath, and I think it will be better with a woman for that job," I suggested gently, and pushed Claire up beside Esme, who put her arm around her shoulders . Claire looked as if I had suggested we killed her, and was already beginning to back away, but Esme had a tight grip on her shoulders.

"Of course Carlisle," replied she softly, and gave me a look that said we would talk later. Then she turned her attention back to Claire, that she guided into the kitchen, and up the stairs to the nearest bathroom.

It gave me a moment to think about all the night through.

At somehow it all seemed so unreal, that my brain had difficulty relating to it. Why would I of all find the girl, and why now? Although I was a 300-year-old vampire, I did not feel like I had a moment of peace ... thanks to my children. After Bella came into the family, there had been the whole episode with James and had continued with Victoria ... Before Bella, had there also been problems with my children, and their attitude, but Jake and Bella had set a new standard. Unfortunately, it had infected the rest of my children, and if Jake and Emmett first started, it always ended with trouble. Not because my family did not have good days with fun ... but I had never given so many spankings, before we expanded our family with four new faces. I loved them all, but at times, it seemed like I never got peace.

And now this.

Claire was a big question mark in my head, since I did not know anything about her. I could technically have brought a serial killer home, without knowing it, although Claire did not looked as the type. My brain could not put a logical puzzle together, that explained what she was doing on a highway, in the middle of the night naked. The only explanations all contained rape, but her behavior did not seem like she just had been raped. In that case, she would have run screaming away, and even though she was scared, she had had a certain sense.

I shook my head, and new I wouldn't get any answers this way, and instead went into our living room. There was so much else I needed to take care of, before Claire was finished with her bath, and I sat heavily on the couch.

She first of all needed a place to sleep, and the living room was not an option. It would limit the rest of my family in what we could do, and not do ... and they could not keep their mouth closed, so she would probably wake up. Therefore, we need to use one of our many other rooms, but they were all occupied. Rosalie would certainly take it personally, if I borrowed her and Emmett's room, and the same with Alice and Jasper. I wouldn't even considering Jacobs room, because of the mess that was all over his room. Seth's room was much like Jacob with the mess, so it was not an option either. I considered Leah's, but she loved having privacy. Then there was Edward and Bella's, and they had after all their own house, but I knew they had many private things in their room, and some of them could be vampire related.

Then there were Esme and my bedroom, but Claire would might wonder where we slept, and our room was the biggest in the house, so we could not tell it was a guestroom.

Therefore, there was my office, the basement and the library back, but the basement was too cold and dirty. My office was not a good place either, because it was filled with sharp objects and medicines that I didn't want her near. It left me with only one option, and the library also sounded like the best idea. There were no books about vampires in there, because they were in my office, so there was no dangers.

With the knowledge, that I had a place where she could sleep undisturbed, I got up from the couch and went up to the library. It was on the third floor with view to the backyard, and was next to Jake's room. It was not a large room, but the space was filled with books and shelves, stretching from the floor to the ceiling. In the middle was a long light brown couch, which I judged to be long enough for Claire, and with vampire speed I put linens on.

"Wow Carlisle Cullen, I never thought you knew how to do that," commented Esme, and pulled me out of my thoughts, when I had finished changing the beds linen.

"Shouldn't you be with Claire," I asked distracting, and did not like to talk about my household skills.

"I thought she would like to have little time, to gather her thoughts," said Esme , and moved closer to me . "She seemed like she could need some time alone, and the warm water helps her body to heat up and relax,"

"Did she say anything ? " I asked curiously, hoping my wife could get something out of her.

"No," sighed Esme, and laid her head against my chest, while I laid my arms around her. "She was mostly quiet, and answered yes and no to my questions ... most of the time she was just curled together in the bath, with her knees pressed against her body. Poor girl, I don't think she knows if she can trust us, and is trying to keep yourself together at the same time," sighed Esme, and kissed my nose trip.

"We don't know what she has been through my beloved, she may have every reason not to trust us," I muttered in Esmes ear, but was more concentrated about massaging her back.

" I know Carlisle, but I just have a feeling of, that she has a hard time keeping yourself together , while she struggles against the rest of the world," exclaimed Esme frustrated, and ignored my attempts to calm her.

"Esme," I said seriously, and pulled her out from my embrace, so I could look her in the eyes. "I don't know more about the girl than you do, and have just picked her up on a highway, where she walked around naked, scared and alone. I know just as much about her as I now about a stranger, and we cannot draw any conclusions about her, before we know who she is. Jesus Christ! I do not even know why I took her home, and not to the hospital! But I chose to take her home, and now we have to accept that. We do not even know if she'll ever want to give an explanation, and may instead be gone in two days," I said frustrated, knowing I wanted an explanation more than ever.

No, I didn't just want an explanation, I begged and pleaded for one. There was nothing normal about a girl, who ran naked around on the highway, in the middle of the night, and I knew Claire needed our help.

"We'll solve this," muttered Esme down in my shirt, and snuggled her skinny arms around my torso.

I gently placed my head on top of her hair, so I could smell the scent of roses, and my eyes closed for a moment. My arms tightened automatically around her body, and for a time we stood in a close embrace. My hands began by itself to rub her back in circles and a satisfied sound escaped her lips.

"I'd have get back to Claire," muttered Esme distracted, and began to free herself from my grasp. I tried to send her my puppy eyes, but she just shook her head with a smile on her lips, and gave me a gently kiss.

"I 'm sure she don't mind waiting a little," I tried tempting, and sent her a loving smile.

"Forget it, you naughty little boy," she said teasing, and walked over to the door, but turned around before she went out. "And by the way, now that I know you can change the sheets, you will do it the next time!"

* * *

Please give your opinion!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Claire's P.O.V

Carefully, so it wouldn't hurt, I pulled my legs up under my chin, and curled myself into a ball. The water below me felt comfortable and warm, but I didn't feel I was safe, so my muscles were still tense.

Everything in this house smelled so good, and looked comfortable, even the water seemed cleaner than I was used to. The whole house had an aura of home and love, and I felt like an item that didn't belong. Even their white towels seemed too white, and I felt I was too dirty to touch them. I was afraid something would break if I touched it, or just looked at it, and destroy the beautiful decoration.

Even their bathroom seemed too fine for me to use, and I would have preferred a rough towel, and a cheap shampoo from the supermarket. Instead, fine expensive things, and soaps I couldn't pronounce the name of surrounded me. Everything here seemed more expensive, than anything I've ever got to own. The bathtub was so big and deep, that the water went to my shoulders, and steam rose up to my face. After sitting here, in what had to be at least twenty minutes, my body was starting to warm up, and I stopped shaking. Instead, I felt as if I had ended up in a sauna, where the air was too heavy.

Last time I had taken a bath seemed like several years ago, and had been in a cold bathroom. The white cold tiles, had always made it impossible to get the bathroom warm, and a bath in the shower was a quick process. I had never taken the time to sit in a bathtub, and enjoy the water against my body.

Over the last few hours, I had kept a shield up in my brain, that refused to let me think on what had happened. It was as if you erase all the memories away, except I didn't forgot them, I just forced myself not to think on them. I didn't want to think about it, I didn't understand it, and I didn't want to experience it again.

I looked tired out the window, while my fingers draw circles in the water, and I noticed it was dark outside. A rhythmic drumming against the window told me it was raining, and reminded me of my sadness.

But it felt nice, just looking out the window, without really thinking about something. The thoughts was there still, but only in my subconscious mind where I couldn't hear them.

"It's nice listening to the rain, don't you think?"

I turned with a shock my head towards the bathroom door, to see Esme standing in front of the door, with a gentle smile on her lips.

"Carlisle are often turning up in our fireplace, when it rains," continued Esme, and placed some clothes at a small table, besides the door, before she walked over to me. "Then we collect all the pillows and blankets we can find, and lay in front of the fire, while we can hear the rain against the window outside. It rain's all the time in Forks, so there are enough occasions to do it," she laughed brightly, with a beautiful voice, that reminded me of an angel.

She sat down carefully on the bathtub's edge, and took a bottle of something that looked like shampoo.

She did not just sound like an angel, but looked and moved like one. Her caramel brown locks was perfect, no matter what she did with her hair, and her eyes was pretty. My own blue eyes looked like ugly icicles beside hers, that reminded me of gold. Her hands were so thin and perfect, compared to mine that was too long, and at the same time looked so tiny.

"It is not because you cannot wash your hair, by yourself," Esme began, and laid a cold comforting hand on my shoulder. "But it looks like your arm hurts a lot, and I don't want to add more pain to it, so if you want, I can wash your hair?" She offered, and waited for my response while opening the bottle of shampoo.

" It's okay with me," I muttered low, and I was not even sure she could hear me, but she began to wash it, so she must have heard it.

It was not because I didn't want to wash my hair, but she was right, my arm hurt. If I had to lift it over my head, I would probably scream in pain.

"So Claire, how old are you?" Asked Esme, after she had washed my hair in silence for a while. Her hands felt so gentle on my hair, and I found it hard not to relax, though I did not trust them.

"I am sixteen," answered I slowly, not sure what I could tell, and should be quiet about.

"Do you have some interests?" asked Esme, and didn't comment my age.

Carlisle and Esme seemed like nice persons, but all people were the same in the end, and they would not react differently. Therefore, there was some information I couldn't give if I wanted to protect myself , but I decided this didn't hurt.

"I run a lot," I said hesitantly, and pulled my knees closer to body.

"How nice," praised Esme, and rubbed the last of my long hair into soap. "What do you else like to do… any subjects in school you like?" She asked curiously, and began to scrub my back in soap.

"I like math ... and science ..." I said shy, and knew well how childish it sounded, but had nothing else to say.

And as expected, Esme began to laugh with a little light laughter. My cheeks were red by seconds, but before I could give it more thoughts, she explained.

"I'm sorry it was not you I laughed off, but I have nine children, and I have never heard any of them say, that they liked anything you do in school. Maybe I should make sure you talked to Jacob, he is terrible at math, and is seeing it as a new method of torture," she laughed, and started to wash the soap out of my hair.

I didn't know what to say to her, because I had thought it was me she laughed of. True to say, I was no nerd in school, and dumped in all other subjects, but math and science was easy to understand in my head. It was just formulas and methods you had to remember, and then you had passed. Otherwise, the school had never interested me, so I remained silent ... in a hope not to say more stupid things. Now she just thought I was the type who liked to go to school, and it would be a lie.

So while she did her work on my hair, I sat and looked at my hands.

When she finally was satisfied, after four washes, she helped me out of the tube and wrapped me in several towels. Without asking, she gently fixed my hair, and helped me with the nightgown she had found.

She must have realized I didn't want to talk, because she didn't tried to ask me more questions. Instead, she hummed in gentle tune, that reminded me of the one my mother had hummed to me, when I had nightmares as a child. It had a great effect on me, because my eyes began to get heavy, and my body tired. I wondered about Esme did it on purpose, to get me to sleep, but pushed the thought away ... it didn't matter whether she was trying or not.

To be honest, I was not quite sure what I was doing. It all seemed like a dream where nothing made sense, and I would wake up soon. I desperately wanted to wake up from my dream, shook my head when I thought about the dream, and then meet with Mason at school ... everything would be forgotten, and I would not be in this situation at all. I did not even know these the two strangers, who for unknown reasons had taken me into their home, as if I was a little homeless puppy.

"Let's go find Carlisle," said Esme, and pulled me out of my thoughts.

In a split second, I considered what my chances of escape would be, and more than one idea came up in my head. I could jump out of the nearest window, or just run quickly down the stairs and out the door. I could also say that I felt bad and needed to sit down, while Esme probably would run for Carlisle, but I never got any chance to do it.

The moment I stepped into the hallway, she laid her cold arm on my shoulders, and guided me down the hallway. She was so much stronger than she looked like, and her grip was gentle and strong at the same time. Although I hadn't tried, I knew that I had no chance to get out of her grip.

When we came down the hall, every chance to escape despaired, when Esme led me into a room where Carlisle was waiting.

"Claire nice to see you again," he said cheerfully, as if we were old friends. He stood up a bookshelf with a book in his hand, and looked like someone who had been reading, as it was a normal night.

"Hi," I mumbled low, and looked shy at the floor, while I could hear him clapping his book together, and put it in place.

"I hope it helped with a warm bath," he continued, and walked over beside me.

"Yes, thank you for your hospitality," I replied politely, and continued to look down, I could feel his arm lay around my shoulders, and I had a feeling of that they did it, so I couldn't run away.

"I'll go down and give some privacy," informed Esme, before we could say anything "Are you hungry?" she asked from the doorway, and gave me a gentle smile.

I knew I hadn't eaten for several days, but I felt sick at the thought of food, and shook my head to say no, before Esme walked out the door.

A clicking sound told me she had closed it behind her, and I kept looking down at the floor. I knew Carlisle would ask questions, and try to get me to explain what had happened, but I couldn't explain! I did not have a satisfying answer, and all I could say would make him think I was crazy. Perhaps he wouldn't ask tonight... but he would demand an explanation sooner or later.

I was gently pulled out of my thoughts, when someone laid a cold hand on my chin, and tilted my head up. A pair of golden beautiful eyes curiously looked into mine, and a small smile slid across his lips. It was not one of those creepy smiles, that you get from people who had sinister thoughts, but the smile that said everything was all right.

"There is no reason to be shy," he said softly with a smile, and pushed me towards a couch that stood by the window. It more looked like a bed, with a blanket and pillows, and I guessed it was her I was going to sleep.

"Just take a seat," offered Carlisle friendly, and gestures to the couch, before he took a large black bag, and sat on the down on the table. After his order I sat down on the couch, and its soft pillows made me aware of how tired I was.

"So can you tell me where it hurts?" asked Carlisle professionally, and sat down on the table in front of me. He had a stereoscope that hung around his neck, but otherwise he was in normal clothes, and didn't reminded me about a doctor.

I wondered for a moment if I should tell him where it hurt, but became scared of, if he then began to ask how I had gotten the damages. But he had seen me limp, and keep my arm protective to the body, so he knew I needed medical attention.

So I explained, without too many details, where it hurt. He immediately went into work, and looked first at my leg and then my arm, before he took a look at my ribs.

"There is nothing that is broken," he said after he had studied all it all, and pressed on different places, to see if it hurt. "But I can't tell if anything is sprained," he continued, and got a serious expression. "Could you perhaps tell me when you got hurt? It would help to give you the right treatment, "he explained, and looked nervously at me.

I wondered for a moment whether it was a good idea, while I nervously looked at my hands. I knew Carlisle only had been kind to me, but I didn't trust him ... or anyone else. But he deserved to hear the truth, and I decided it didn't matter if I told him.

"It happened earlier today," I replied low, and lifted my head so I looked at him.

"That explains a bit," he said kindly and warm, while his eyes looked with pity on me. "Then your body still feels some pain from the accident, and I will not be able to see if it sprained before tomorrow. The easiest thing would be to get an x-ray, but it's too late to do it tonight. So unless you have a lot of pain, I will not do more about it before tomorrow ..."

"I'm not going to the hospital," I exclaimed in fear, before he could say more. My heart began to beat faster at the thought of a hospital. There was nothing that could persuade me to go there, and I began to make an escape plan.

It would not be impossible to climb out of the window, though it was on the third floor, and if I landed correctly, it would not be too bad. From there I just had to run into the forest...

"Claire take a deep breath," ordered Carlisle, and pulled me out of my thoughts. I noticed Carlisle's hands was protective on my shoulders, while he's eyes looked concerned on me.

"Breathe in," he commanded softly, and I did as he said. "And then out,"

He began running his thumbs in circles on my shoulders, while he kept repeating the same words.

After a while I began to breath normal, and he sat beside me on the couch, and looked in no way irritated about the stunt I just had made. Instead, he sent me a small reassuring smile, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I would not take you to the hospital unless it was necessary," he began, and turned his upper body, so he looked directly at me. "I also understand that you doesn't want me to know, who you are, and right now you don't trust me. If it's going to be necessary to go to a hospital, I will be by your side all the time and take care of your treatment. If it can make you feel better, I promise you will don't have to tell any personal information, and I will make sure you don't need to talk to anybody, except me," he reassured me, and gave me time to think about it, before he continued. "I don't want you to be afraid of me or anyone from my family, but I understand if you are. I beg you, however, to give us a chance, even if you have every reason not to,"

I was shocked over he knew what I thought, and I said nothing for several minutes. Mason was the only one who had known me in that way, and could always tell what I was thinking. But this man who stood in front of me was not Mason. Mason was the first who had tried to help me, and now tried Carlisle tried to… but like an adult would do it. For a moment, I considered if Mason had been reborn in Carlisle, but threw the thought away... I didn't even believe in a religion.

"Thank you," I whispered finally, and tried to push the thoughts about Mason away.

"There is nothing to thanks for, I just hope you will trust me with time," said Carlisle, and took the stereoscope in his hand. "I would be happy, if you would let me give you a quick checkup, to make sure you are healthy," he explained, and looked questioningly at me to get my acceptance.

I knew it wouldn't help to resisting, because sooner or later he would do it, and I did not mind he made a checkup. Therefore, I just nodded.

First, he listened to my heart and lungs, and said there was nothing wrong with them. Then he looked in my ears and mouth, and checked my eyes. Everything went really well until he put a thermometer in my mouth, and I was done.

"Hmm," he murmured concerned, when he read the numbers on the thermometer, and worried turned his head in my direction. "Do you in any way feel uncomfortable or bad?" He asked, and laid a cold hand on my forehead to be safe.

"Your hand is quite cold against my skin," I admitted, and tried to feel for other signs of sickness in my body. But I didn't even felt dizzy, just tired and exhausted.

"I will give you some fever -reducing for tonight," muttered Carlisle addressed to himself, while he packed his things into the bag again and started walking toward the door.

"I'll be back in a moment," he added, before he closed the door behind him, and was gone.

I was not sure if it was a warning, but I had no plans to disappear ... at least not tonight. I was too tired and exhausted, and right now was his house the best option I had. There was no way I could stop them from calling the police, or drag me to the hospital, but I could always run away. Actually, I would have to run away no matter what the future looked like, because I could not stay here forever. I just needed to wait for the right moment when they trusted me most, and then run.

That was the only option ... and I had fought so hard...

I would not give up now.

* * *

_"Mom, I'm home!" I called happy, and threw my bag in the hallway, before I ran into the kitchen. To my surprise she wasn't in the kitchen, where she normally was smoking, while she read the newspaper. There had been smoked so many cigarettes in the apartment, that everything smelled of smoke, even my clothes._

_"Mom?" I called again and looked me wondering around in the kitchen._

_The kitchen was so small that it was hard to be more than one person, but it was my mother's favorite place in the apartment, because she said dad never came in the kitchen. I didn't understand why she preferred when Dad wasn't there, but she just smiled and shook her head when I asked._

_I turned around and walked out of the kitchen again, while I called my mom's name, but there was no answer. My legs quickly carried me into my bedroom to look for her, but there was no trace of her. I moved farther down the hallway, to Mum and Daddy's bedroom._

_Dad always said I wasn't allowed to enter, unless the door was open ... but now it was closed. I had been in trouble with dad before, where he had been angry with me for less, but where was mommy? She was not in the bathroom or in the kitchen._

_I looked despairingly at the door handle, unsure if I should open it ... or just leave it closed. I would like to show mom my math test, where I had zero errors, but I would make her angry ... or dad._

_But the sound of her proud voice, and the warm smile overcame my fear, and I laid my little hand on the handle._

_The first thing you saw of the mom and dad's bedroom was always their mirror, that stood opposite the door. It was old and worn, and mom always forgot to clean it, so it was hard to see yourself. But I could sense my own little figure behind the door, that looked curiously back. _

_"Mommy?" I called, and closed the door a little more up, so I could get in._

_I looked carefully around, but she wasn't their either. The sheets was just as messy as this morning, and her nightwear was not on the bed as it used to._

_With small steps, I carefully walk over to the bed, and touched the bed sheet._

_"You will not find your mommy by touching her sheet," said a voice behind me._

_"Mason!"_

_My body reacted before my mind, and I rushed into his arms with joy, and threw my arms around his neck. My hands buried themself in his coffee brown hair, while my forehead felt the outline of his cheekbones, and all I could see was his brown skin._

"_Who else?" He laughed, and nudge me away, so he could look at me. His green eyes mild and gentle as always, with some kind of humor in them, I couldn't understand. "You become more beautiful," he commented mischievous, and sent the smile only Mason could smile._

_I knocked a hard elbow in his chest for that comment, and then put my head against his chest again._

_"I've missed you ..." I mumbled, and did not know why I had missed him ... he had been here all the time, right?_

"_I also missed you," he whispered, and tried to get out of my grip. "It's so boring without you, but I think its best that way," he said sad, and laid his hands on my cheeks._

_"What's best?" I asked confused, and got a bad feeling in the stomach._

_We were both right here… what was his problem?_

_"Seattle is a good place," He continued, and ignored my question. "No one knows you, and you have a good chance, your ..."_

_"Mason," I interrupted confused, and put my hand tight around his upper arm. "What do you mean by, that it is best that way?" I repeated slowly, and looked intently at his eyes. He sighed by my question, but I kept looking at him and didn't gave up._

"_Claire, it's time you wake up," he whispered, and pushed some of my hair behind the ears. "It's time for you to open the eyes, and look at reality ... not your imagination,"_

_He leaned close to me, his mouth was next to my ear, and I could feel his calm breathing against my skin._

_"It's time for you to give the world a chance," he whispered gently. "Stop dreaming about things that are long away, and start to take them in front of you."_

_With those words, he put his hands on my shoulders, and turned me around so I looked in the mirror, where the outline of my body was._

_But it was not the little Claire I had seen before, it was no longer a child. Instead, it was a young woman with a starved body that looked back._

"_It's time for you to realize who you are," whispered Mason, and planted a gentle kiss on my cheek. _

_It was all that was needed, and the floor suddenly came dangerously close to me, while it felt like I was growing down, and my arms hit the floor._

_I looked confused in the mirror, and there was no longer any Claire._

_Where her face had been was only Masons back, that looked down at something._

_I turned my gaze to what had gotten his attention, and there was a different outline than before. Something that had four legs instead of two, with a coat as white as snow._

"_It is time to open your eyes Claire," whispered Mason, while his skin slowly turned white, and began to fade away like a ghost._

_"It's time to for you to wake up , "_

_With those words, he disappeared, and a loud howl cut through the air. _

* * *

Thank you to all that have decided to follow my story!

An thanks to Jules ann, that send me the most wonderful long review.

And to Preciousat :D

But what do you think about Claire and Mason, and do you think Carlisle is able to help her?

I now the last part of the story can work a little bit confusing, but their will be an explanation… later:D

Next update is going to be the 27 November :D


	4. Chapter 4

Kapitel 4

I looked lovingly at my beloved wife, who was concentrated about reading a book, and didn't notice my eyes were on her.

Neither of us had said anything for several hours, and was just listening to Claire's heartbeat, that thumped in a regular rhythm that told us she was asleep. She didn't know we could hear her from our bedroom, and thought we slept peacefully as her, but vampires did not sleep, and all I had to do was keeping an eye on her.

True to say, I wasn't afraid that Claire would try to escape, during the night, because I had given her a sleeping pill. She hadn't noticed it, since it was dissolved in the water I had given her, along with the fever -reducing medicine. She had been drinking it without tasting the water, and deserved a long undisturbed night.

It was not because I wanted to prevent her from leaving, if she didn't want to be here, but I was going to prevent her from escaping. It would be irresponsible in every possible way, just to let her escape during the night, knowing she had no money, passport or a place to stay. If she wanted to leave us, it needed to know where she was, and she had someone who could keep an eye on her. If she didn't have any family left, I would make sure she had enough money, and would gladly give a donation.

Her name was the only thing that went through my head, from the moment I saw her, and all night. Esme didn't say anything to me, but I knew she thought of Claire to, and didn't really read the book.

My thoughts were about everything from what had happened, to what her favorite color was. For unknown reasons, I had an urge to know more about her, and find out who she was. I wanted to know everything she could tell, from what her greatest fear was to what music she heard.

I wanted to know who she was.

It was the only thing I could think of, as the sun slowly rose over the trees and brightened the day. The Kids would come home soon, after spending the night at Bella and Edward's cottage, and I already knew Jacob would be hungry.

I listened quietly to the room down the hall, where I could hear Claire's heart speed up, which was a sign on she was awake. A glance at my watch told me it was teen in the morning, and it was nine hours ago I had given her the sleeping pill, so it would be out of her system by now. I looked over at Esme again, to see she had closed the book, and listened like me.

"I'd better make some breakfast ..." muttered Esme thoughtfully, and got a more concentrated expression. "What do you think she will like?"

"I'm sure whatever you make will taste good," I replied diplomatically, and could see the panic spread in Esmes eyes, of the thought that Claire was allergic to anything, or fastidious

"But what if she doesn't like it and eat something she do..."

"Esme she will love it,"

"But Carlisle, she is our gue…"

I kissed her on the lips before she could say more, and stopped the words that was coming. The truth was that Esme didn't had to fear about Claire liked it or not ... but if she ate anything at all. I already knew her intake of food couldn't be large, and the look in her eyes, when Esme last night had asked if she was hungry, confirmed my theory ... she didn't eat much, and either felt fat or had a bad relationship with food.

"She will love it no matter what you make," I whispered loving, after I had stopped our kiss, and decided it was better not to tell Claire wouldn't eat much, no matter what she made.

"Thank you," smiled Esme soothed, and kissed me on the nose tip, before she went down to the kitchen, and I walk out on the hallway.

It was a typical reaction from Esme.

She was so worried about others didn't like what she made, that she would go far to satisfy the individual. I knew she was just as worried about Claire's mental and physical health, as I was, but she had a completely different way of showing it. She was often better to see what state you were in, and knew when you needed to be alone, or wanted a person to talk with.

However, it was clear to both of us that Claire didn't wanted to talk, or just cry. It irritated me more than anything else, because she needed to talk to someone ... but were too afraid to ask for help.

I shook my head, and stopped my thoughts where they were. It was useless to think of it right now, and instead I listened to the sound behind the door.

A quick and easy heartbeat told me Claire was awake, and was moving around. Her breathing was more frequent than when she slept, and I could almost feel the eyes were open.

"Claire ... you're awake?" I asked gently, and knocked lightly on the door. I knew she was awake, but we had to act humanly, so she didn't got suspicious.

"Yes… come in if you won't," came an immediately answer, and I could hear she still was tired.

I carefully opened the door, and turned my head toward the couch where she sat, with tired eyes. She had already changed to the clothes, that Esme had placed in her room the night before, when she had fallen asleep.

"Slept well?" I asked gently, and sat down beside her on the couch. Claire's scent of carnations and hyacinths hit my nose as an explosion, and reminded me of summer and sun.

"I slept fine, thank you," she replied, and sent me a little smile that didn't reach her eyes. It reminded more of an effort to give a smile, but you had forgotten how to do it.

"Nice to hear, Esme is making breakfast, and my kids is coming home in a few minutes," I told with a smile, and immediately realized my mistake.

When I mentioned my kids, her face got pale, like she was going to throw up. Her reaction to Esme last night, had prepared me on she didn't like strangers, but I had forgotten it for a while.

"How many children do you have?" She asked nervously, and I realized I hadn't mentioned it before now.

"Four girls and five boys," I replied cautiously, and looked worried on her. I knew that the number nine might seem as too much to handle, but it didn't seem to help I said it in another way, as Claire seems to be even more nervous.

"That's a lot..." she murmured scared and took a hard grip in the blanket.

"They understand you need space ... and isn't going to ask questions you don't wont to answer. I'm sure they will like you, "I said consolingly, and regretted my words, as Rosalie and Jacob's names came up in my head.

Rosalie hadn't sound too happy, when we had called to inform about the evenings events, and Jacob ... he was always to curious.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure , " I lied , and felt it was better not to make her more nervous ... and Rosalie would at least not be intrusive.

"Okay ..." sighed Claire nervously, and looked questioningly at me to see what would happen next.

"Then let's go downstairs," I suggested, and pulled a thermometer out of my pocket. "But first, let me take your temperature,"

It was no secret Claire had high fever yesterday, and I was worried about her health. There was a high risk she could get a cold or flu, and fever was a sign on her immune system was down. I hoped the fever -reducing had help, but when I looked at the thermometer it was the same as yesterday.

To my surprise, Claire did not appear to feel bad at all, and when I offered her some more medicine, she thanked no and said she was fine. I asked if she had any other pains, but she replied that it didn't hurt in neither her ribs, arm or leg. For a moment I thought she was lying to me, in hope of I didn't took her to the hospital, but when we went downstairs I could see it. She neither limped or grimaced, and went down the stairs without my help at all, which was a miracle compared to yesterday. Therefore, I was forced to conclude nothing was sprained, and there was no need for a trip to the hospital.

As we approached the kitchen, I could already smell that Esme was making a giant breakfast. All kinds of scents hit my nose from eggs and bacon, to freshly baked bread. I knew Jacob would be happy, but Claire looked like someone who was about to throw up. I knew from similar situations in the hospital, the smell of eggs and bacon could cause nausea, and did not blame Claire to look like a pale ghost, as I prayed the gods she wouldn't vomited.

When we stepped into the kitchen, Esme was busy at the stove, and had already placed four plates at the dining table. There was already a lot food, and I could see Claire wondered about the number of plates and the amount of food ... but she hadn't meet Jacob and Seth.

"Good morning," Greeted Esme with a smile, and turned around to look at us. She always seemed so happy when she had a chance to cook, and I could see the joy in her eyes.

We both said good morning to answers before Esme turned around again, and concentrated on cooking. Since she was busy, so it was my duty to entertain our guest, as I nicely pulled out a chair for her, and sat down beside her.

"Don't you want anything to eat?" She asked puzzled, when she saw there was no plate in front of me.

"I've already eaten," I lied.

The truth was that six out of the nine children had eaten, but I was pretty sure Claire didn't see it as eating, if you hunted animals through the woods, and drained them for blood.

"So Claire, Esme told me you like science and math ... other things that interest you," I asked talkative, and made her think about something else than our eating habits.

Claire looked hesitant beyond the question, and consider what she could say without telling something, that could give a hint about who she was. Meanwhile I looked closer at her face, and studied every detail of her, that I didn't had a chance to looked at before now.

She reminded me a lot of Alice, the little face that seemed so fine shaped, with sharp edges. Her eyelashes were long and dark, and framed the beautiful blue eyes that seemed so central to her face. Her hair was long and curly all the way down her back, in a deep brown color that was close to being black. Her skin had a golden color that was not as powerful as Jacob, Seth and Leah's skin color, but it was more golden than ours.

"I like music ..." she said hesitantly, and looked shy on me, which was something she did when she was unsure.

"What kind?" I asked curiously, and knew we unlikely shared musical tastes.

"Just music ..." she replied evasively. "But most quiet songs,"

I must confess I found it hard not to smile. Most of the time, Claire reminded me of a young girl who had been forced to grow up to early. She seemed too grown up for her age, but when I asked about her interests, she became shy and found it difficult to answering. That was the little girl in her, which was hidden away for the most time, but I wished she would be more present. The little girl could both cry and express emotions, where the adult Claire would rather deal with the problems on her own, and was hidden behind her wall of emotions.

"I am mostly to classical music," said I, trying to keep the conversation alive. "But my children like all sorts of music, and I am sure you can borrow some of theme if you like ... what about books, do you like reading? ," I asked interested, and tried to find a subject we had I common. I really wanted to know this girl, and in the background, I could see Esme also listened to our conversation, while she pretended to be busy cooking.

"Poems and horror ..." told Claire, and blushed when she mentioned the horror. "But otherwise I don't read so much," she added.

"What about movies?" I tried, and knew we didn't read the same books, because I never had read a horror, and very few poems.

"Most horror ..." she said again, and I was having a feeling of, she and Emmett had something in common.

"Do you have any hobbies?" I tried.

"Not really ..." admitted Claire, and looked at her hands. I could sense there was something behind those words, she didn't want to tell me, but I couldn't ask anymore, because I heard the front door opening, and a deep voice cut through the house.

"MOTHER, POPS WE ARE HOME!"

Claire looked scared into the living room, when Emmett's voice interrupted our conversation, and I took a deep breath. Out in the hallway, I could hear many voices that whispered to each other, and Claire's name was said more than once.

"Will you excuse me a moment ," I said quietly to Claire and Esme, before I went into the living room, where the new arrivals was standing. My worst nightmare was they all would rush into the kitchen, to see our guest, and didn't thought about she needed privacy.

"Please be a bit quiet," I begged in a low voice, and looked strictly at Emmett, who looked confused back.

"Where is she… her the new one?" asked Jacob excited, and looked happy at me with a big grin.

We had informed them about the most basic things, after Claire was fallen asleep. Esme and I explained how I had found her, and she would stay with us for a while, but had forgot to tell they had to be careful about what they said, and how many they were around her.

"She's in the kitchen," I answered. "But please ... Give her some space to say hello, and don't introduce all of you at the same ti…"

"But Pops..."

"No Emmett " I interrupted, and could see the disappointment in his eyes. "Claire have been through some hard days, and know none of us. Therefore, it is important she feels welcome, and none of you will overwhelms her, by running into the kitchen like a three year old. Do I make myself clear?"

Everyone nodded to show they understood, though I could see Emmett and Alice were disappointed. Rosalie on the other hand looked angrily at me, with a raised eyebrow. She couldn't care less about another person, and didn't want to hear a word more about Claire. Jasper looked more nervous while Jacob had a smile on my face I didn't like, and Leah and Seth was just curious. Edward and Bella was nowhere to see, since they had decided to stay down in the cottage a few hours.

"Well, then there is only one more thing," I nodded and lowered my voice so Claire couldn't hear me no matter what, although Esme kept her occupied. "You will all need to act like humans over the next few days, so she doesn't get suspicious. That means no one turns into big wolves, run in vampire speed, or lift things that's too heavy for a human..."

"We already know that Pops!" Interrupted Emmett, and made a quick list." We all need to make sure to eat, look like we breathe, and stay away from the sun ... we've actually done it before," he laughed, and placed his arm around Rosalie, who stared at me with angry eyes.

"Thanks Emmett," I smiled, and found it hard not to laugh of his childish enthusiasm.

"Can we go out and eat now?" Jacob asked impatiently.

"As long as you remember Claire is new, and doesn't overwhelm her," I nodded and thought three would be an okay number to start out with.

I didn't needed to say more, before Seth, Leah and Jacob was in the kitchen, and I reassured myself with Esme would keep an eye on them.

I turned to Alice and Jasper, who said they would be in there room, and back was Rosalie and Emmett.

Rosalie had not responded well, when we told her we had a guest living in our house, the next few days… at least. However, it was not Claire she was angry on, but me, because I had taken a human into our house. What she felt was not anger, but fear for that would happen Claire something, and our secret would be revealed.

"I think we need to talk?" Suggested I, and motioned toward the stairs to discuss this at my office, but neither Emmett nor Rosalie moved.

"There's nothing to talk about, " she snapped, and lashed out with her hair while her eyes looked at me with a hard stare. " You have made a decision and I cannot do anything to stop you. Just don't expect I talk to her, or even be friendly! "

With those words, she turned on her heel and walked angrily up at the stairs, with a queen elegance. Normally I didn't tolerate my kids talked to me like that, and I would have given her a warning at least, but I understood her point of view, although I did not agree with her.

I turned towards Emmett, and looked wonderingly at him. Normally, he would run after Rose, to comfort her and calm her temper, but today he didn't.

"There's nothing I can do," he explained, and answered the questions on my lips. "She was so upset yesterday, and although I would like to comfort her, I can't. Right now she just need some time alone," he explained, and looked towards the kitchen. "And besides, I would like to meet our guest, she sounds ... interesting!"

I could not help but smile at Emmett's choice of words, and patted him on the shoulder, happy he didn't react as Rosalie, though it was his mate. It was one of the things that made Emmett unique, that even though he loved Rosalie more than anything on earth, he took his own decision and had his own opinion.

"I'm sure she will find you interesting too," I smiled. "But wait till later so she doesn't feel pressured ... between you and me, I think Jacob is enough right now, "

"Sure Pops ... but I can be the next, right?" He asked as a young child, and looked at me with puppy eyes.

I promised Emmett he could be the next, if he allowed her to eat breakfast first. Then I excused myself, and saw him go upstairs, before I even went into the kitchen.

When I stepped into the kitchen, I was relieved to see Claire was still alive, and had a conversation with Leah and Esme. It didn't sound like the talk about anything special, and I heard the words clothes and design. I could sense Claire just listened, and looked relief when I walked into the kitchen, which made me smile.

Jacob on the other hand was busy with many things, and talk with Seth, while he tried to keep up with the girls' conversation, Eat, and had his eyes glued on Claire. But to my surprise she didn't look away, and saw fascinated on all the food the boy could eat. She had only taken a small amount of fruit, and some bread, but hadn't really ate anything yet. I could see Esme was looking concerned on Claire plate, and then over to me, to say we needed to do something. But I couldn't just say it to Claire in front of everybody, and needed to wait till my kids was busy somewhere else.

There is not much to say about the breakfast. I sat next to Claire, and talked about the only issue we had in common so far ... science. She seemed extremely interested in what I could tell, and could tell a lot to, so the talk went back and forth. We ended on many other topics, and soon I knew her favorite color was green, she loved sunrises, and liked to paint sometimes. She became more relaxed while we just talked, and only focused on what I said. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Esme listened to, and remembered every detail she said.

I knew I couldn't talk to Claire the whole day, no matter how much I wanted too, but there was other things I had to take care of. Therefore, I suggested that she and Leah could watch a movie, and Claire did not look pleased at the thought, but followed Leah to her room. It gave me time to go to my office, and work on some of the papers from the hospital. I had several hours ago called and explained I wouldn't come the next week, because of family problems. It had not been difficult to find a replacement at work, but instead they had sent a lot of paperwork to me, so I wouldn't get bored.

The truth was, I didn't want to leave Esme with nine children, and a strange girl none of us knew. I had a feeling of Claire would try to escape before or later, and felt reassured by being near her, so I could stop her in time.

When I had worked in a half hour, I looked pleased at the pile of papers, and decided it was enough paperwork for today. So instead I took my laptop from my bag, and began to move my fingers over the keys.

At first, I tried to search on Claire's name, under recently disappeared children, but it didn't gave any result without a surname, or a hint about witch state she was from. Instead, I tried to add a description of her, but there was no match. Then I tried the same thing on another page, but it didn't look like anybody was searching for her.

I knew it was easier to ask Edward for help, and he would have some of the answers, but it would be hard to explain to Claire where we got the information from, and she would be suspicious.

When I didn't find results on pages for missing children, I tried to search on google, in a hope to find an article, but nobody told anything about a girl named Claire. Eventually I was so desperate that I went under death announcements, but I never got any longer.

"You will not find her there," interrupted Edward, and pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked choked on my son, that was standing in the doorway, and wondered how long he had been looking.

"Edward," I greeted, and shut my computer down. "What can I do for you," I asked kindly, and decided it was good to think about something else than Claire.

"I think you mean _us_," interrupted Alice and danced into my office, followed by Leah.

"Okay then, what can I do for you," I corrected, and offered them to sit down

"It is about Claire," explained Edward, and I tried not to sigh.

It looked like Claire was everything I could think on today.

"Have you picked up any information from her thoughts?" I asked Edward curiously, but he shook his head to answer.

"Nothing useful compared to find her family, but we have discovered something else about her ... something I think will change your thoughts about her,"

"Go ahead," I said a bit nervous, because Edward made it sounded like it was something big, but then I suddenly noticed something. "Leah where is Claire, if you're here," I asked worried, and prayed to the gods she didn't left Jacob alone with her ...

It could only end badly.

"Esme is with her, and she just met Emmett ... think they have a common passion for horror movies, but Esme is keeping an eye on them," reassured Leah, and smiled her most gracious smile.

"Well," I sighed, and was happy Claire and Emmett had something in common, but it still reassured me Esme was there. "What was it you would like to tell me?"

"We don't think Claire is a human,"

* * *

SO….. what do you think, is it exciting so far, do you want more chapters from Claire's P.O.V?

And thanks to all that have given a review, and PLEASE keep doing it, I love to know someone read my story: D

And thanks to them that is following, and have add this story too their favorites :D

Next chapter is going to be between the 1. December and the 6. :D


	5. Chapter 5

Carlisle's P.O.V

Chapter 5

In a moment the time stopped.

No one moved, said anything, or took a breath.

Everyone was quiet while they waited for my reaction. Their eyes all looked at me, and waited for the bomb explode...

But what could I do? What response would they expect? Should I get angry, and destroy my office ... or take it easy and give them a smile?

What they told didn't make sense, I realized, when I quietly thought things through. She couldn't be a vampire, because she clearly had a beating heart in his chest, and was hot... hot like werewolves.

But it was not an option. She was too small and fragile, not like Jacob and Seth ... or just Leah, who all were tall, and had a lot more muscles. She didn't ate enough to be a werewolf, because their bodies demanded more food than a human ... and her body almost demanded she stayed away from food.

But most important of all... she didn't smell of wet dog.

"And what is she, if she isn't human?" I asked calm, and looked one by one in my children eyes, until Leah spoke.

"She's a werewolf,"

"Impossible," I declined immediately, and already had my arguments ready, but Alice interrupted me.

"I cannot see her future,"

"Jacob, Leah and Seth have been near you all the time," I reminded her, and couldn't remember a moment where she hadn't been near a werewolf, the last hours.

But my kids were stubborn, and I could see how much they believed in what they said to me. Their eyes told the truth, and I could see they didn't try to lie ... they just hadn't thought it through.

"You're wrong," murmured Alice, and looked guilty down on the floor. I could sense a confession was coming, and she already knew I wouldn't like it, but I would let her explain before I judged her.

"How so?"

"When mom sent us away without an explanation, we all thought you were hurt ..." explained Alice, and looked down at his hands. "Therefore, we agree that Jazz and I had to look into your future ... while the wolves weren't there ... so we could help,"

"So you where spying on us?" I interrupted, and was disappointed that they didn't had more faith in us.

"Not that way!" exclaimed Alice, and panicked. "We were all scared, when mom didn't told what was wrong, and sent us down to the cottage. We are a family, and we just wanted to know the both of you was okay..."

"I understand Alice," I interrupted, and Alice looked relieved at me. "Just remember to another time, that our family is built on trust, and we only won't to protect you. We would never hurt you... or keep it as a secret if one of us was injured. The only reason I asked Esme to send you away, was to give Claire some privacy," I reminded them, and Edward nodded.

"We know Dad, and promises to keep that in mind... but Alice discovered something really interesting, when she looked into your future,"

"So what did you see?" I asked Alice interested, and looked into her big golden eyes.

"I saw nothing," she replied, and confused me with her answer, but it seemed to make sense for her. "I have always could see you and Esme in my visions, but when Claire came into your future, I saw nothing! Just like with the wolves,"

"So that's your reason to believe Claire is werewolf," I asked skeptical, and thought it was too quick to make that conclusion. "You didn't thought about she could have an special ability, or Alice was too close to the wolves, even if she felt the distance was long enough?" I asked critical, and tried to see it from their angle, but there were too many gaps in the theory.

"We haven't thought of she could have a gift," confessed Edward, but weren't able to say more before Alice interrupted.

"But I tried to look into the Denali covens future, and I could clearly see what they were doing in Alaska, so I was far enough away ... which means Claire is different!" She stated, and seemed unwavering in their theory.

"Besides" continued Leah. "Then you say she has a fever, while she steadfastly claims she's fine, and haven't complained about being dizzy or drowsy. In fact, it might just her body temperature ... like a werewolf"

"Not to mention how quickly she healed from yesterday," mentioned Edward. "Admit it, you were sure her leg was sprained, but this morning she wasn't even limping,"

"I admit I thought it was sprained, but sometimes ..."

"Dad, it was sprained," interrupted Edward. "I have heard her thoughts, and she is relieved it isn't sprained ... even though she felt much pain yesterday,"

"And you found her naked!" exclaimed Alice. "And then she either have been raped, or just changed shape from wolf to human ... and forgot her clothes,"

"STOP! "

I looked between my three children, who immediately became silent. Their arguments rained down on me, so I couldn't get it all into my brain, and get the puzzle in place. What they said was true enough, but at the same time, I had a feeling of it was incidental event, they had set together in a wrong way.

The truth was maybe, she had been raped and lost her clothes, so she had to walk naked on the highway. Her leg was perhaps not broken, but had just hurt a lot, and had healed over the night. The reason Alice didn't see her could be she had a gift, that made her able to resist others' abilities ... like Bella's shield.

And maybe she was just a normal human, who had a fever, but would not admit it because she felt she was a burden. I admit she doesn't look like someone who just had been raped, but the rest sounded logic. There was nothing about her that reminded me of a werewolf, and all the arguments flowed into my head.

"Listen closely to what I say now," I said quietly, and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Claire is directly underweight," I began. "She eats nothing, and is as tiny as you can be. I understand if it seems like a logical solution, compared to what you have seen and heard ... but that's not the case. Claire is not as tall as a werewolf is, or have some Native American blood in her veins. She doesn't smells like a werewolf, or react negatively to a vampire's presence," I looked them in the eyes, one by one, before I said the last words. "Claire is not a werewolf, but a human that need someone to talk to, because she have a difficult past… put she is still a human," I finished, but was immediately greeted by three defiant glances.

"You're wrong," muttered Edward, and looked over at Leah who took the word.

"If you should describe Seth and Jacob with one word ... what would it be?"

"Masculine," I answered immediately, and just the picture in my head, made me think of that word. With their big muscles and dark scent, they reminded me of something masculine.

"What about Claire?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, and thought of Claire's face and scent. She reminded me of the color white, with bright eyes and long beautiful hair. Her scent made me think of summer days, when the flowers were in bloom and the sun shined in your face.

"Feminine," I finally answered.

"In other words, male and female," directed Leah.

"Leah, where do you..." I began confused, but was interrupted as she began to explain.

"When Sam had broken up with me, and I turned into a wolf, was I sad and confused. I didn't understand why my fate should be like this, and why I was the only girl in the pack." Leah told.

"Leah, I don't understand... "

"Let me explain Dad," she interrupted, and sent me a smile. "Everything is connected to Claire, but you've got to give me a chance to explain," she begged, and I nodded to show she could go on.

"As I said I was confused, because I was the only girl in our entire tribe's history, that had transformed to wolf. I started to go through the whole packs family tree, without finding a single girl besides me. Eventually I stopped searching, and got used to be the only girl. "

"But something made you search again?" I guessed.

"Yes, one evening we had a bonfire with the eldest, where Billy about Taha Aki 's third son, and gave me some information that was very useful. The story was about Taha Aki, but Billy mentioned his third son had been married with someone in another tribe, shortly before his father's death... and I soon realized we weren't the only tribe with wolves..."

"Is there any tribes who's genes is active now... like yours?" I interrupted curiously, forgetting Claire for a while.

"Not that I know of, but there have been other tribes than ours, with the wolf-genes. Through my search, I found out that Taha Aki's son Awan, married the chief's daughter in a tribe close to Boston, where he remained until he died. The tribe was far away from everything, and even Boston was a day's journey away on horseback. When I read their old legends, I quickly realized it was a problem. The stories where given to me from an old lady that lived in the tribe, who had hidden the stories in years, so it took me some time to convince her, but when I got them I could see why they had been hidden... a hundred years after Awan was dead, vampires began to attack them..."

"And Awan's descendant became wolves?"

"Exactly" nodded Leah. "But the vampires didn't disappear because of the wolves, and even Awan's most distantly related descendants transformed. The vampires began to make an army, and the war went on for years. The wolves was so busy fighting the vampires, that none of them got children for many years, and few were imprinted with a girl. The village was small, and none of them traveled to the cities, so they stayed in a small closed societies, but they needed a new generation to survive."

"What did they do?" Alice asked excited, and clearly hadn't heard the story before. Edward looked just as interested as Alice, so this story was new for him too.

"The women's began to change," explained Leah. "It was a problem that no children had the wolves gene, if the old wolves should die. Therefore, many women's who were related to Awan transformed, and took their place as the male wolves' wives,"

"So they got imprinted," I asked curiously.

"No, female wolves were changed because there was a need for children… not because the males needed love. I cannot explain it ... but a wolf just knew who its mate was, after the woman had transformed first time. They were called _the wives_, because it was their purpose, and they were all described as beautiful creatures. They were much smaller than the males, and were thin and feminine, their purpose wasn't to fight vampires, so they smelled nice instead of wet dog. What they needed to do was to get kids, and take care of the house. There was no love bond between them and their mate, because it was not the point of their transformation. For the most part, they learned to live with each other, but some of them acted like enemies..."

"But you aren't like them…" I said confused.

Leah was neither small nor tiny as a wolf, and wasn't anybody's mate. She was a woman, but the description didn't fit on her. I could see on her face she knew that, and it made her sad to know she was different… even as a werewolf.

"No… I don't know why… but I am not like _the wives_," she said sadly, and I jump to next topic so I wouldn't make her cry in front of her siblings.

"But that's what you think Claire is ... a _female_ wolf," I asked skeptical, and came back to the point.

In my ears, it still sounded unrealistic, and Claire fit in the description, but there was still so many other things that didn't made sense.

"It's our theory," Edward nodded and smiled. "But I can see you still see a few holes in it," he said, and leaned back in his chair.

"You're right," I nodded, and took the first thing I remembered. " Have you considered that if Claire had turned into werewolf, there should be a male wolf out there ... as she tried to escape from right now, and it would be strange if she hadn't thought of him, without Edward had heard something ... or you maybe have?" I asked suspiciously, and turned toward Edward, who shook his head.

"I must admit, I haven't heard anything about a man who chased her, or..."

"But there is also another way to chance," interrupted Leah, and got everyone's attention. "In one of the old legends, I read about a woman who had been surrounded by four vampires, and turned to werewolf in fear. There was never any mate for her who felt her chance, and knew it was his mate, and she did not feel the same urge to have children. She looked like all the other women who were wolves, and not like me, but she changed because she was afraid ... and it had been that or death,"

"Okay so she may have gone through a traumatic experience, that led her to transform. But I must remind you, that Claire does not look like a native American in any way," I pointed out , and could see neither Leah and Alice had an argument to use, but just as I thought I had convinced them Edward started to talk.

"I have already thought of that problem, and I called the old lady Leah talked about earlier, and when she realized I knew about the wolves, she gave me some information. Leah said the women's' weren't happy in their marriage, and some were directly enemies, which is a very important detail, "Edward said with a smile, and his two sisters looked wonderingly at him, and apparently hadn't heard about this either.

"How so?" I asked sighing, and was soon running out of arguments.

"At a point, some explorer traveled to their tribe," explained Edward. "Some of the unhappy _wives_ found them interesting, and disappeared with them one night. None of them was ever found again, and have probably survived their escape. The explorers were from Europe... in other words white people. Your are the doctor, so I think you know that the native American genes can be broken down, through generations,"

"But then the wolf gene should also be reduced," I pointed out.

"You know it can come up after several generations," Alice reminded me." And our theory is Claire have been frightened by something, or was about to be killed... you've even seen her Dad! Jasper says she is afraid of herself, and I think she has been turned into wolf recently. She has been alone in this, and now she's confused because no one was there to help and guide her,"

My little pixie looked stubbornly at me, with his arms crossed, and I had already lost this discussion. All three were sure Claire was a werewolf, and their explanation gave meaning ... but I didn't had enough evidence.

"Children ... I believe you," I sighed, and saw how their eyes lit up. "I can see the similarities between Claire and your description of the wolf ... but there's no real proof that I can use. All this is theories, and I cannot just ask her if she is a werewolf, and hope for the best ...you understand that, right? "

But nothing helped, and my three children still looked stubborn at me.

"But Dad, it's you that have the evidence," Edward said, smiling.

I looked confused at him.

I had evidence I didn't even knew about?

I could not think of anything that could prove their theory was true, but they knew something I had forgot. Their smiles told they had the control right now, and Edward had already found evidence in my head, before I could even think of it.

"Or is it incidentally, a patient talk about a beautiful wolf, who is seen near Forks, the same evening you pick a confused girl up, on the highway? "

These were the last words I needed, and I knew for sure Claire was a werewolf.

**So finally, Claire is wherewolf! :D what do you think about the wives, and what do you think happened to Claire? **

**Please review! :D **

**And I don't know when next chapter is gonna be, but soon :D **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Claires P.O.V

Mason, Mason, Mason...

It was the only thing I could think of, as the days slowly dragged themself away. People around me talked, asked questions, and tried to engage me in conversation, but I could not think of anything but him. I answered their questions, and when it was expected smiled, but I didn't knew what was going on around me.

Instead, I thought of his coffee brown hair and green eyes, who had been full of life... no matter how drunk he was. During the day, I thought of all the good memories, the times we had laughed and walk under the green trees ... but at night ... at night he haunted my dreams.

He had been in all my nightmares in the last week, since the day Carlisle found me up on the road. Every time we were a new place, and they were all familiar. It could be the playground we played on as kids, or the small basement we had partied in as a teenager. But we both knew all the places, and had been there together.

But it was always the same, he came out of the blue, we talked, and then he faded away. He kept saying I should stop dreaming, and live my life… but how could I do that without him? He was my best friend, and now he was dead. Without him I was lost, like a dog without its owner, without him is was…

"Claire?"

I looked confused up, to see Esme standing in front of me. Judging from her expression, she had repeated herself more than once, though she didn't look angry... just worried.

"Sorry, I was in my own thoughts ... what did you say?" I mumbled apologetically, and looked down at my hands.

Esme made my heart hurt every time she spoke, and her warm voice made me want to vomit. She reminded me of the thing I never would get, and how much I really wanted it. Usually, I was able to push it aside, but Esme was always around me, and the desire for a mother was constantly in my head. It wasn't something I could blame her for, when she only had shown me kindness given me food, and a place to sleep, but I found it hard to look in the eyes.

I was afraid she would see the silent wish in my eyes, and get angry because I even thought of it.

But I could not stop dreaming.

Dream she would take me in her arms, and tell me everything was okay, like a mother would do. That she could see behind my façade, and saw I wasn't crazy ... that she somehow could make everything normal, and remove my nightmare. I wanted to tell her about Mason, so she somehow could help me, and eliminate the pain in my chest.

But it was only a dream, and in reality she saw me as a strange girl, her husband found on the road. Esme seemed nice and friendly, but I knew that sugar play, and she just wanted me to trust her, and get information.

So I kept my dreams as dreams.

"I just wanted to hear what you would have for lunch," explained Esme, and made her cold fingers run through my hair.

"I'm not really hungry," I declined nicely, and could not bear the thought of eating right now.

But Esme would not take no for an answer, and overheard on purpose my answer, and said instead.

"Then I make a sandwich,"

With a smile, she reached her hand out to me before I could protest, and behind the smile in the eyes, I could see she wouldn't change her mind. If she had to carry me into the kitchen, and force me to eat, she would do it. It left me without a choice, and I followed her into the kitchen.

Quietly, she began to hum as she opened the fridge, and I noticed the three plates in the sink.

For some reason, I never saw the others eat. Leah, Jacob and Seth were the only ones I had seen touch food, but they also ate for a whole family. None of the other ate food in my presence, and there was no evidence on they ate at all. I never saw any dirty dishes, and at mealtimes they disappeared. Carlisle and Esme was always with us when the four of us ate, but none of them touched food. It was starting to pique my curiosity, but I had not asked about it jet.

One of many weird things in this house.

I had by now meet the whole family, and they had told me they were adopted. At the same time, some of them where in love with their siblings, and it was wired even if they were adopted. It confused me as much as the food, but I guess all families have some kind of secrets.

And they all seemed to perfect .

Their skin was too light, and all besides Leah, Seth and Jacob was cold. Their teeth was too white, and their hair was too shiny. They where to perfect for a human, and looked too grown up for teenagers.

I had quickly realized Esme was the perfect images of a mother. I had not asked her, but I already knew she was home all day, and took care of the house. She made sure the children behaved properly, did their homework, and did their chores. While Carlisle went to work and earned the money, she washed clothes and made the house clean. The perfect picture of a mother and father who, lived in a big house, and forgot how lucky they was.

Not because my mother ever had a job, but she had been in the kitchen with her newspaper, and smoked instead. She had never known how to cook or handled laundry, and our plants withered slowly while she smoked one cigarette after another.

That's why I ended up as a smoker.

The thick smoke was something that had been in my lungs from childhood, and when Mason started buying cigarettes, I said yes with pleasure. The smoke made it all much easier, and everything in the room was sharper...

_Slowly I looked around, and studied every little thing there was to see, while my gaze drilled into every detail._

_The room was not big, but it contained a small television that could watch videos on, and two small sofas. On the windowsill, there were small candles that shined out in the endless night, and gave the room a nauseating odor._

_A light breathing told me there were others in the room, and slowly I turned toward the door. Well-known green eyes met mine, and for a moment, I was breathless. His eyes were always full of adventurous spirit and the way his hair was sitting on, reminded me of an explorer. It was always messy, as if he had been in a fight with a mummy, or fled through the rainforest. Nothing could stop him on his way, and he was always so sure on himself._

"_Do we really have to celebrate this?" I sighed sad, and looked at the little pink gif in his hand... he knew I hated that color._

_"You sound like we are in the process of organizing a funeral," commented Mason dry, and came into the room with his irresistible smile. "And it's not every day you become sixteen, you are going to thank me for this!"_

"_Or hate you?" I Suggested, but was only met with laughter._

_" You can't hate me Claire, not even if you tried," he laughed , and placed a cigarette in his mouth. "I'm too pretty to be hated... hey ouch!" He complained, and rubbed the place where my elbow had hit his ribs. "Are we feisty tonight? "_

_His voice was teasing, but at the same time there was something in it, that made his eyes were more gentle than they used to. They always made my knees soft, and I wanted to smile when he was near, but I never told him that._

_"Just give me the cigarette!" I hissed playing, and tried to break the awkward silence_

_Before he could protest, I took the cigarette out of his mouth, placed it in my own and took a deep breath._

"_Just what I needed," I sighed, and felt how my muscles began to relax._

"_You always need something ... that's a woman thing, ladies never get peace without something new all the time," commented Mason, and laughed before he handed me the pink gift. "Hope it cover the needs,"_

_"Mason I said I didn't want presents," I sighed annoyed, and pushed his hand back, but at the same moment he grabbed the cigarette, and pulled it out of my mouth. "Hey!"_

"_You open my gift now and look happy, unless you want to say goodbye to Mr. Cigarette," he said in a playfully treating voice, and I had no choice... if I want to see the cigarette in my mouth again._

"_Fine," I sighed annoyed, and looked down at the pink gift for a second, before I decided to rip the paper off._

_Inside was a small box, which didn't seemed like anything special, but I could see Mason had painted it, in blue colors like my eyes. He always said he liked my eyes, because they reminded him of the winter, and snow. _

_But it was the necklace inside the box that caught my intension... It was made of brown leather, and in the end was a small eagle feather in brown and white colors. I recognized it from the first time we met, but was surprised he had saved ... it was several years ago. Both of us had seen the feather lying in the schoolyard, and had at the same time reached out for it, but Mason got it first._

_It had been the start of our friendship._

_"I love it..." I mumbled enthralled, and looked gratefully up at him. "Thank you Mason," I whispered happy, and noticed how one of the rare smile came to my lips ... one of them that went up in eyes._

"_Good girl, let me give you the cigarette again"_

_With those words, he took a big drag of the cigarette and tossed it onto the floor, where he stomped the glows away, and looked me in the eyes._

_I knew what he wanted, I could see it in his eyes, and I should run screaming away, but instead, I felt joy wash through me._

"_Happy Birthday Claire,"_

_In the same moment, he breathed all the smoke he had sucked in, out in my head, and all I could see was smoke. In few seconds, it surrounded me like a thick shield against the world, but then two crystal green eyes broke through the smoke, and I closed my eyes while our lips met..._

"Claire ... Claire are you okay?"

I confused blinked with my eyes, and tried to focus on what was in front of me. Two pairs of mild golden eyes looked at me, while somebody's hand ran soothing through my hair. I had been so engrossed in my own memories, I didn't noticed anything around me, and I had to blink several times before I could see clearly.

As expected Esme was in front of me, and ran her hand through my curls, with Carlisle standing beside her watching me. He had a serious expression in his eyes, and looked concerned on my face. I hadn't seen him come home, and guessed he walk through the door these last minuets. It was his first day back to work, after he had been home for a whole week, and I don't think it made him relax he found me completely paralyzed, as soon as he left for work for the first time.

"I'm sorry ... I do not know what happened there, " I mumbled, confused, and looked shamefully down at my hands.

It was the second time I was lost in my own thoughts ... in the last twenty minutes! And it was starting to be embarrassing. They had to think I was crazy, or had some kind of mental illnesses, since I couldn't focus.

"It can happen to anyone," Esme said comforting, and lifted my chin so I looked at her warm eyes. None of them looked angry, so I slowly began to relax.

Like nothing happened, Carlisle sat down next to me and stared thoughtfully at me, while Esme made my sandwich. They kept looking at each other, and exchanging worried glances, I was sure were about me. It was like they had a quiet conversation, and in a moment it looked like Carlisle shook his head, but then he saw I was looking at him, and turned his attention to me. His face was suddenly a stiff expression, and I knew he wanted to talk serious business. It would come sooner or later, but I was hoping for later.

"Claire," he began gently, and sent me a reassuring smile. "You have been here for a week now, and I don't expect you trust me enough, to tell what happened. I know whatever has happened, it hasn't been easy, and you don't need to tell anyone until you are ready,"

He held a short break, and looked for any sign of I was about to panic. But I looked calm back, so he continued.

"However, you live under my roof, and therefore you are my responsibility. I am not going to contact social services, unless you ask me to do it, because I don't think they will help you. For some children it can be a good thing, but I do not think you will be happy to be in the system,"

It reassured me he would not contact them, as they would find out who I was, and send me back again. It was hard for me not to sigh relieved, and I looked gratefully at Carlisle, who sent me a quick smile.

"At the same time, I cannot let you go, without knowing somebody is taking care of you, and is making sure you have food and clothes," he continued, and destroyed my joy.

"Carlisle you don't need to ... " I began , trying to get him away from the idea, of I needed an adult, and couldn't take care of myself, but he cut me off before I could finish.

"Yes Claire, I do. It would be irresponsible of me to let you go, without even thinking about your safety and healthy... "

"And you're welcome to be here as long as you need," interrupted Esme, and sat down across from us. She had sat the food in front of me, but my stomach turned in protest, and I focused on our conversation instead.

"That's right," nodded Carlisle, and turned toward me. "I understand it all seems confusing right now, and you don't really feel at home anywhere, but our house is open as long as you need it..."

"That's an offer I can't accept," I refused.

They had already done so much for me, so I could not possibly say yes to their offer, no matter what they said. In a way, I felt there was so much between us, and they would never be able to see it from my world. None of them had ever tried to starve, or look death in the eyes. They had never needed money for something, and been forced to steal from others. In a way, we were two different species; I was the poor girl from the big city, with a dark background, while they were the rich family, with the big, beautiful house and the happy future.

It would never work between the two species.

In my head there was them and us, and it was two things that shouldn't be mixed together. In their eyes, I was just a stranger they had opened their homes up to, so they could tell the neighbors what heroes they was. It was not that I was ungrateful, but I could see what was going on.

And although it may be possible, although two species might be able to meet, I was still forced to flee.

"Claire, it's not an offer, it's just something you have to," Carlisle said gently, but I could hear the order in his voice. I could hear his real voice, who told me I didn't had a choice, and he would lock me up if necessary.

The idea send a shiver through me, but Carlisle continued before I could think more about it.

"It is, however, understandable if you don't want to be here, but right now there aren't any choice. I will not let you go, without knowing you have a guardian somewhere," he decided, and destroyed every chance to get away from here, without I had to climb out of the window at night.

"I know yesterday was confusing, and I seemed helpless, but I can take care of myself ... it's a nice offer, but I can't accept it. You've already done so much, and the last thing I will ask you about, is to drive me into town, then I can..."

I did everything I could to refuse their offer, but was interrupted by Carlisle, who had a stubborn look in his eyes. Esme looked just as stubborn, and I realized this could be a long conversation.

"And what will happen if we dropped you of in town?" He asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "Would you take the first bus away from heir, and get as far away from us as possible..."

"I can take care of myself..."

"No, you can't!" Interrupted Carlisle. "Whatever you say, you're sixteen. You are still a child, and need to focus on going to school. I am not just going to drive you into town, without being in contact with your guardian,"

For a moment there was absolutely quiet.

Carlisle didn't seem angry, but he was steadfast in his decision. He had a tight expression on his face, as he stared intently at me. I could see in Esme eyes, she already was on Carlisle side, so there was no help from her.

Still they reacted differently.

Any other family would ask me to shut up, and do as they had told, so I would never have considered arguing. Esme and Carlisle were much more sympathetic, and although they should be angry, they spoke with gentle voices, and their eyes seemed so soothing and relaxing.

"I know you don't see me as an adult," I said quietly, trying to control my temper. "But I'm responsible, although it may not be the impression you got, but what will you do? I have no family or friends who want to take me in, so eventually I will be alone,"

"And because you don't have a family, you think we just should let you go?" Esme asked skeptical, and raised an eyebrow.

"Listen, I know I seemed pretty helpless yesterday, but I've had a rather difficult period, but I am over it now..."

"And what is our assurance that your period is over, and you didn't just lie?" Interrupted Carlisle, and did not seem to believe me at all.

Both he and Esme was not going to chance their decision, and I wanted to scream in frustration. Their questions hammered down on me, and they did not intend to let me go. It was an unfair discussion, where they was the adults who always knew the right answer. For some reason, they always thought they knew more than the young ones, and I was doomed to lose already.

"Why do care about what I do?" I asked annoyed.

I was getting quite tired of arguing with them, and I could see they only became more and more stubborn. None of us was going to give up, and we would not get anywhere with this argument. Carlisle had a tight drag on the mouth, as our discussions moved forward, and his eyes seemed darker. It did not seem like he would beat me, but he didn't look happy either.

"Of course we care," Esme said, and sounded hurt. "You have already been here a week, and we don't consider you as a stranger anymore. As Carlisle said, we are responsible for you, and would never dream of throwing you out of the house,"

She sent me a confident smile, and I screamed inside.

Why couldn't they just understand I didn't want their help! I just wanted to be alone, without them in my life. What I wanted was to forget. I wanted it all disappeared from my head, all the memories ... everything that had happened over the past weeks. It all had to be deleted so I could start on a fresh, but instead I was here, with a clear memory.

"I think we all need to clear our minds," sighed Carlisle, and rose from the chair. His eyes were no longer angry, and his mouth was loosened up in a half-hearted smile. "We will not find a solution by arguing, let 's talk about it another day?" He suggested, and ran his cold fingers through my hair.

"It sounds like a good idea," Esme nodded, and smiled to us, before a crash sounded through the house.

"LEAVE ME ALONE YOUR MONGRE!" screamed Rosalie , so everybody could hear her. The sound of a vase that was broken could be heard, and shortly afterwards, Jacob's voice.

"Relax Blondie, I was not trying to push you!"

" SHUT UP! "

"It better not be my Chinese vase," Hissed Esme, and stood up from the chair. In seconds she was out of the door, and Carlisle turned apologetic towards me.

"It was also beginning to be a little too quiet," he laughed, and ducked his head as Esmes voice cut through the air.

"If it's my Chinese ... Rosalie and Jacob… what have you done... CARLISLE!"

With those words, he ran upstairs, leaving me with my thoughts.

They could discuss this subject all they wanted, and come up with as many arguments they would, I would run away when the opportunity came.

* * *

Sorry it took me a while to update it's near Christmas so I got busy

But what do you think?

This was Claires first argument with Carlisle and Esme, but I don't think she won anything.

And what about her flashback?

**Please Review! :D **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Carlisles P.O.V

I checked the envelope was in my pocket for a second time, before I entered the living room.

In seconds, I localized Claire who was sitting by the window, and talked with Emmett. Since Emmett found out Claire liked horror movie, he had been around her constantly, and acted like a faithful dog. He spent every moment he could with her, either to see one of his many movies, or just talk.

But it was too much for Rose.

It had not been easy for her to accept Claire, even after we discovered her true identity. She still looked angrily at her, and had not made a conversation with her jet. It didn't help that Emmett spent so much time with Claire, and Rosalie became more frustrated as the days went by. Claire did not appear to notice how angry Rosalie was, and treated her like air.

I looked curiously at Claire and Emmett, and saw how she rested her head on his shoulder. It might look like they were in love, the way she was sitting close to him, and his arm was around her shoulder, but I knew better.

Emmett had over the last few days changed, and become gentler when Claire was nearby. He had quickly discovered she didn't like his wild side, and had switched over to a completely different person. It was strange not to hear him shout and cheer all the time, but he still did it when Claire wasn't around.

At first, I could not understand why Emmett was so interested in Claire, and used so much time to make her smile. I appreciated he tried, but it was not something he usually did. Finally, I asked him why, after Rosalie had complained to Esme for hours, and he explained.

Emmett had two siblings in his human life, which he still remembered very well. He had an older brother Calvin, whom he never made a close bond with, and then he had a little sister ... Maisie.

She was fifteen when he disappeared from their lives, and became a vampire. He had often shown pictures of her to us, and she had been the one he missed most. He didn't talk much about her now, but at first he didn't talk about anything else. It was obviously he loved her very much, and from the pictures of her, she looked like Claire. The blue eyes were almost identical, and the dark hair was he same. They could have been twins.

That was the reason Emmett spent so much time with Claire. When she was around, he was turning into the protective brother, who would do anything to see her smile.

But I didn't understand why Claire was so interested in Emmett.

Because she also changed to another person, when he was nearby. She was more talkative, and sometimes I saw her smile. Not the fake smile that told she just smiled because it was expected, but the real smiles, those you could see in the eyes.

"Good morning," I greeted, and made them aware of my presence.

Both of them looked up, and Emmett grinned.

"Good Morning Pops, slept well?" He asked teasing, so everyone could hear the irony in his voice.

To get Claire used to the idea of vampires and werewolves, we had followed our normal routines. None of the vampires in the house ate, used the toilet, or pretended to sleep, but Claire had at no point asked just one questions. It worried me if she didn't observed any of it, but Edward explained she wasn't curious of nature. She had noticed it, but was to shy to ask about it.

However, no one was allowed to run in vampire speed past her, or turn into a big wolf in front of her. We were not trying to give her a shock, before she got used to the thought of we were different.

That was the reason I ignored Emmett's comment with a smile, and turned my head in Claire's direction.

"Me and Esme are going for a walk, and would like you to join us," I explained, and gave her no choice.

While Claire's eyes looked worried at the thought, Emmett looked happy, and he knew what was going to happen.

"I better check on Rose ... she's probably finished with her hair," Emmett apologized, and walked out of the room. We had all agreed it was just me and Esme who was there when it happened, and Emmett could not wait to afterwards.

I looked one last time at Emmett, who ran up the stairs, before I turned toward Claire again. She looked suspiciously at me, and her eyes said she didn't want to go anywhere. Since our first discussion about Claire's future, we had tried to talk about the issue again, but it ended up like last time. No one would give in, and Claire was just as stubborn as us.

"We'd better get going," I said kindly, and helped her up. She continued to say nothing, and looked pleading at me ... she already knew there was a motive behind our actions.

Out in the hallway Esme was waiting with her coat on. She was mostly wearing skirts, but today she had chosen jeans, and looked like someone who was going to hike. Over her shoulder was a bag, that had everything we could need, and in the other hand she held Claire's jacket.

"There you are," she said, smiling, and gave Claire a comforting pat on the shoulder, before she looked seriously at me.

Everything was written in her eyes. Should we do it? Was this the right way? How would she react?

I had tried convincing her to stay home, knowing Claire could break her heart in a few minutes. But Esme had insisted on going with us, because she could not handle the thought of losing Claire. No one had said it loud, but we considered her like a daughter, and I feared what could happen in a few minutes.

Esme was afraid this was the last time we saw her.

As a gentleman, I helped Claire get the jacket on Alice had bought for her. To Claire, we said it was Bella's that she could borrow, because the _Boss_ logo told how expensive it was. If we told her we had brought it to her and not Bella, she would refuse to wear it.

"Where are we going?" Claire asked nervous, when we walked into the forest. She walk between Esme and me, with her hands in her pockets and looked down at the ground.

"To one of our favorite places," explained Esme, and laid her arm around Claire's shoulder.

Over the last ten days, we had discovered she didn't like physical contact, but that didn't bother Esme. She kept stroking her hair, hugging her in the morning and kiss her on the forehead. Claire seemed confused at first, but got used to it when Esme didn't gave up.

Every time Claire took one stepped away from us, Esme took two steps forward.

"It has the most beautiful view of the lake," I added, and gave her a reassuring smile.

"But I don't understand why I have to go with you?" Murmured Claire confused, and looked wonderingly at us.

"We thought you should see the view," lied Esme, before Claire had time to ask more questions.

From that moment our walk was in silence, while we went deeper into the forest. Either Esme or me could find something to talk about, and were both to tense to start a conversation. This could be our last moment together with Claire, before she would hate us forever.

My parents instinct had kicked in from the moment I saw her, and I felt responsible for her safety and health.

Was it the right thing I was going to do?

Perhaps it would be better to wait, give her time, maybe do it in a different way... was it a good idea to take her outside?

The questions flew through my head, while I began to doubt on myself. My choice could make everything perfect, but it could also make her hate us forever...

I never got any further in my thoughts, because we reached the lake, and it was time. One look from Esme told me she was just as nervous as I was, and I made sure I had the envelope in my pocket.

We had come at the lake since we moved here, and it was Esme's and my personal spot. The lake was on my property, and was surrounded by trees. It was most beautiful to be here in the summer, but even in the cold November it was a peaceful location.

In front of the lake Emmett had built two benches and a table, so we could sit and look out over the lake, or read.

"It's beautiful..." murmured Claire, and looked fascinated at the lake.

"The place has its charm," I confessed, and signaled she could sit on the bench, while Esme and I sat on the opposite. I could see Esme wanted to sit next to her, but in a few minutes it could be the last thing Claire wanted.

"I think we need to talk," I began. Under the table, Esme took my hand and I gave it a hard squeeze, before I looked at Claire.

"Carlisle, I know you don't think I can handle myself..." began Claire, looking irritated.

"That's not what we want to talk about," interrupted Esme, and caught Claire's attention. Her eyes looked confused between Esme and me, and Esme looked at me to signal I should continue.

"It is true," I began, trying to decide how to tell her.

Judging from Claire's confused expressions, she had no idea what we wanted to talk about. She probably had many guess, like we would throw her out, or contact Social Services. It made me sad that she didn't trust us more than that, but at the same time, I could see why she wouldn't trust us.

Because Claire did not trust anyone.

In her eyes we were all traitors, and if she didn't gave her heart away to anyone, it could not be broken. She had been let down so many times in her life, she chose only to trust herself and make her own decisions.

But when she didn't trust us, it was hard to get her to believe we said the truth, and to be able to help her she needed to believe my words.

Therefore, I needed evidence.

"Have you noticed we are different?" I started, and saw Claire's puzzled face.

"Different?" She asked confused.

"Yes, is there something we do, which seems strange… wrong?"

"Carlisle I don't understand..." Claire began, but I could see the truth behind her eyes.

"Yes you do," I interrupted. "Don't lie to me, you know we are different, you've seen things you don't understand! You just won't tell it, because you are not sure that it is you who are crazy, or us who are different. But now I ask you to say it, what's different about us? "

Claire was startled, and looked wide-eyed at me, before she slowly regained her voice, and said what I wanted to hear.

"You... You don't eat ... or I've never seen any of you eat ... only Leah, Seth and Jacob," she whispered, and looked nerves up on me, to see if it was the right answer.

"What else?"

"Your skin ... is ... it's..."

"What is it?"

"Your skin is cold as ice ... and hard as stone, while Leah, Seth and Jacob's are warm,"

"It's true, what else?"

I made sure my voice was soft, so Claire didn't became more scared than necessary. She was already worried, and her eyes were filled with fear. At this moment, she had to think we were crazy, or she was dreaming. Edward had explained she continued to deny her own destiny, and she would not find it easier to believe in us.

"You seem to perfect," stammered Claire, and looked down at her hands.

I turned over to Esme, who had been quiet for a while, and I regretted she came with us. Claire looked so sad and confused, that it was difficult for Esme to be here, without taking Claire in her arms until everything was okay again. We had decided at home, that we should not be more than two, and my original choice had been Leah or Edward, but Esme had insisted to come along. She was afraid of losing Claire, and I understood it was impossible for her to sit at home, not knowing what happened.

But the expression in her eyes was unbearable.

I gave her hand a quick squeeze under the table, and her eyes met mine for a moment, before I turned to Claire again.

"Everything you say is true," I announced, and held my hand across the table so she could touch it. "Our skin is hard as stone, and even the strongest knife will could make a scratch," said I, and signaled she could touch my hand.

She looked confused at me, but did as I asked, so her long thin fingers touch my skin, and I felt her warm hand against my cold.

"You can see our skin is quite light in color, if not white," I continued, and looked into her big blue eyes. "It's because we don't have any blood in the body, it has been replaced with venom, so we always feels cold,"

"Carlisle, I do not understand..."

"Let me finish," I interrupted, and closed her mouth.

"We don't sleep either ... we can't sleep, our body don't need it. All those nights you have been in your dreams, have we waited for the sun to rise again,"

Claire came close to collapse now, and her breathing had become faster. The small pupils were becoming bigger in panic, and I grabbed her wrist before she could stand up.

"I could crush your hand in a second if I wanted to, without effort..."

"Stop it," whispered Claire frightened, but I continued.

With vampire speed, I lifted her off the ground, and got us to the other side of the lake, where she could see Esme sit on the bench. She began to shake uncontrollably, while her heart was beating faster than before.

"We're faster than any human or animal and in a second..." I lifted Claire again, and ran back to Esme. "I can get you wherever I want,"

With one finger, I lifted Claire's chin so she looked me directly in the eyes. Her whole body was out of control, and there were few words back before she couldn't take it anymore. I let my finger slide down her throat, and felt the thin vein.

"I'm stronger than any machine, my skin is colder than the winter ... I have not slept a single day for the last three hundred years. Right now, I can hear your heart beating in your chest, like a drum in my ear, my eyes can see every drop of water in the grass. You cannot run away from me, because I am faster than any animal. I don't know how food tastes anymore, because I have not touched it for several centuries. Instead, I have a thirst, but no water or any other drink can satisfy it... am I a human, Claire?"

"No..."

"But what am I then? What is it I crave after, that's not water? "

"I do not know..."

"Blood Claire," I whispered, and let my finger touch her vein. "Most of my kind would put their teeth into your flesh, and suck every drop out of you..."

"But you won't?"

"No, I'm living on animal blood, and so does my family, that's why our eyes are golden ... but they should be red. What am I, Claire?"

Claire shaking so much now, that it was difficult for her to speak, but the word came as a whisper from her lips.

"Vampire,"

"And what are you?"

"A werewolf,"

In the moment the truth, she had tried to deny, dawned on her, began her body to change. I took a step back before her body exploded, and a snarling filled the air. Her hands became paws, the face grew longer and narrower, and white fur grew out of her skin.

In front of me was the most beautiful creature I had long seen. Her fur was so white it reminded me of newly fallen snow, and her eyes were big and innocent. The long legs were thin and elegant, and the tail was down between her legs. A frightened sound came down from her chest, and her eyes met mine.

* * *

MERRY CHRISTMAS! : D

It was the next chapter, what do you think?

What's in the envelope Carlisle is hiding?

What do you think about the way he revealed their secret?

And how will Esme react?

And thanks for the lovely reviews: D

Special thanks to Jules Ann's pm, and the four other comments, keep it up: D


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Claires P.O.V

Air.

I needed air.

My heart pounded away in my chest while I tried to get air to my lungs. I looked in panic around, wide-eyed, while a whimper rose from my chest. A white paw scraped across the ground and to my horror, I discovered it was mine.

This couldn't happen again... not again. Everything was finally getting back to normal, but now all the work was ruined! Everything I had tried to forget ... the long nights under the trees, where my only company had been the moon…

Everything I had tried to forget came back, with memories of bad times and lonely days.

Large salty tear rolled down my cheek, and landed in the grass, while I was shaking in shock.

All my senses were sharpen. My hearing, sight ... everything! Small details in the trees, a bird that looked from a branch... the wind that whistled past my ear. I could smell the grass below, and felt the heat from the ground.

But I'd give anything to never experience it again.

I'd give anything to never see a wolf again, or so much as remember a single moment of my life. Right now my entire existence was some shit, that had no end. No one understood it, but I would just like to forget... die, get it all over.

But that was not the situation. I was a ... a werewolf who were still alive, with two vampires in front of me...

By the word vampire, I remembered they were here and lifted my head.

They were standing there... with hesitant eyes, and tried to let me make the first move. None of them moved a muscle, while their eyes were on me.

I tried to look at them as monsters ... vampires, I tried to see them as dangerous predators, without pity... but the only thing I saw was Esme and Carlisle. Nothing about them was changed, their eyes were as golden as before, and they both seemed so friendly. Esme still gave me a lump in my throat, and I silent wish she was my mother, while Carlisle was still the patient man, I so desperately wanted to be more than just a temporary guardian.

They didn't have red eyes, or long fangs ... instead I saw two people with love in their eyes. The Carlisle I saw a few minutes ago had been frightening, but even there, there had been a light in his eyes. Something that told me he was not a monster, but the Carlisle I already knew.

No matter how hard I tried, I could only see Carlisle and Esme.

"Claire?"

I looked at Carlisle, who stood a few steps away from me. A whimpering sound came from my chest, and I wanted to go over to him ... but what if he didn't like me anymore? If he was a vampire and I was a werewolf, was he not supposed to hate me ... kill me?

That was how the legends always sounded, but it also said they drank human blood ... but Carlisle had said his family only drank from animals.

But could I trust him... he had already lied to me once, by pretending that they were perfectly normal...

"I know all this seems confusing," Carlisle began, and pulled me out of my thoughts. "But I promise you we can help," he assured, and took a step closer. "Me and my family, we are different just like you ... if you could change back to human, we could talk about it?" He suggested .

But I couldn't. My body was in shook, and kept shaking while big tear slid down in the white fur. My body was in a panic, and I couldn't do anything but whine pitifully, while my mind exploded.

"Just relax," whispered Esme, and was in a second at my side. Without a word, she sat down and began to stroke my fur calming. "Just take some deep breaths Sweetheart," she instructed, and for a moment... for a moment I felt loved.

All her focus was on me, and her eyes seemed so ... so gentle and kind. Her words reminded of a classical piece of music, that slowly made me calm down while I followed her instructions.

"That's it honey," muttered Esme gently, and let her cold fingers stroke my fur. At that moment, I didn't care if she was Frankenstein or a vampire, she only tried to help me.

Maybe... just maybe, vampires were not so bad. Esme seemed more human than I did, and if I could call myself a human – the girl who turns into a werewolf - Then I could also call Esme and Carlisle for humans.

After a while, where Esme kept saying comforting words, I tried to stop crying. It seemed childish to cry in front of her, like I was her own child, and not some stranger they had known for two weeks. It seemed wrong to use her like that, so I forced myself to stop crying. It was hard, but became easier when I focused on my breathing.

"Everything is gonna be all right," she promised, and smiled half-hearted to me. "Try to relax your muscles, then you should be able to turn you back to a human,"

I tried to relax in my legs first, and soon the rest of my body. I could not stop shaking, no matter how much I tried, but I soon got my breathing under control and closed eyes to focus.

The whole time I thought about how they would look at me now. I had never cried in front of anyone before... not even as a child, and Mason had never seen me cry. Would I be a coward in their eyes? Where I came from, crying was a sign on you were weak, and I didn't want to be a pitiful girl. The thought of running was tempting, but Carlisle had shown how fast they could run, and it would be useless.

I had to stay and wait to they kicked me out.

As I began to relax, I could feel my thoughts loosened up. I began to focus and in a second, I was back in human form. Before I could think, Esme pulled me into her arms, and rocked me back and forth, while Carlisle had turned his back to us. He had already seen me naked once, but I was still grateful. Esme would however, be sure I was okay before she did anything else, and kept me in her arms for several minutes.

But I kept myself from crying. I wanted to, but Esme would already think I was weak by now. I think she could sense there were more tears back, but I forced myself to stop. My only problem was I was still shaking, and I was not sure if it was because of the weather, Esme cold embrace, or the shock of the last hour's events. Whatever it was I kept shaking, and Esme realized I didn't want to cry anymore. So instead she pulled her bag in front of us, and gave me a pile of clothes.

The other clothes had been torn to pieces while I turned to wolf, and there were only small remnants left. I felt bad about destroying the clothes, because I knew it was expensive, and it was Bella's not mine. It cost more money than I ever got to own, but I couldn't find anything else than brand products in the house. The little pixie ... Alice, had handed me a pile of clothes every day, as she said she had borrowed from Bella, and some of it was so tight I barely could walk.

In seconds Esme helped me get dressed, and used her vampire speed, so I barely managed to see what happened. Her cold fingers quickly got the shirt over my head, and I was petrified while she was working, kept whispering comforting words.

She made a quick job of helping me, and had also brought a scarf and new shoes. As she quickly gave me on, and wrapped around my neck. I felt like a lamb barbie doll that she could do with what she wanted. It reminded me of the first night, where she had helped me in the same way, first with the bath and then the clothes.

The moment I had gotten dressed, Carlisle turned around and signaled we should sit down again. This time Esme sat down next to me instead, but made sure there were a little space between us. Carlisle was still sitting on the other side of the table, and he seemed more relaxed than before. The whole atmosphere was not tense anymore, although I was more nervous than ever.

"Are you okay?" Asked Carlisle, and tried to start the conversation. He was a doctor – or that was what he had told - and he was probably worried about if I was in shook. My whole body was still shaking, and I used all my power not to curl into a ball, and just cry.

Since I could not say a single word right now, I just nodded, and he looked doubtful at me but continued.

"I understand if your picture of us has changed," he began. "But I had to give you physical evidence of our existence, and I was afraid you would deny your own nature. Both Leah , Seth and Jacob are just like you, and I know from them that if you get a big enough shock, you will transform by instinct... I apologize for my behavior, but sometimes there are things you've got to do, even if you don't like it,"

Although he should be a monster in my eyes, and I should run screaming away, I could hear he meant what he said. He seemed more scared for my reaction than I did for his, and without hesitation I replied.

"There is nothing to apologize for, I know I should be afraid of both of you ... but I can only see Esme and Carlisle. All this vampire thing is really weird , and I'm not sure if it is a dream , but there is nothing I shall forgive you for. The person I was most afraid of is myself, but I do not think I am more..."

That was the most emotional shit I had told my whole life, and for a moment, I was not sure it was me. What I had said was true, but I never said things like that loud. It was all that crap that came from the heart, and even Esme and Carlisle looked surprised.

"I'm glad to know," said Carlisle after a moment, and continued. "You know either my family or me would ever hurt you. We only drink animal blood, and try to live a life among humans. There are other vampires than us, who live around the world and is drinking human blood, but we are a family while they see themselves as a coven,"

I nodded to show I understood what he said, but in reality I couldn't understand a word I my brain. There had been too much information for one day, so my thoughts were beginning to make sidetracks. I tried to keep track of everything he said and understand it, while I kept repeating this wasn't a dream. My head was about to explode, and I think Esme saw that, because she stopped Carlisle from saying more.

"I think you can tell her more about vampires and werewolves later Carlisle," she smiled. "Claire know the most important thing now, she is not alone and we would never hurt her,"

"That's true," he nodded, but looked like a disappointed child. However, the expression disappeared quick, and he turned all his attention to me with a gentle smile. "There are other things we need to talk about," He told seriously, and gave his wife a quick glance.

And I knew what was coming

"I know we already have discussed this more than once, but I also know you thought you were alone the other times, and was a danger to all of us. So I understood if you just wanted to be alone," Carlisle began. "But it's not healthy for you to be at our home, without knowing how your future looks like. You need to go to school and get an education, so you can create your own life. You need a place to call home Claire..."

"Carlisle, we have already discussed this several times ...," I complained, but he interrupted me.

"I know we have, but I also promise you this will be the last time."

I looked confused at him, and wondered what he meant by that, but never got the time to ask.

"Are you still saying you have no family that will take care of you?" He asked, and I felt we had this conversation before.

"I have no family," I replied.

"If you are afraid they don't love you anymore, because they saw you transform to wolf, then I can talk to them?" He suggested, and understood that _I have no family_, didn't meant they were dead.

"I have no family," I repeated.

"And you're sure I shouldn't try to make them understand?" He sighed. "I am a proud father of nine children myself, and it would break my heart if one of them disappeared. I understand if you don't want to see your family right now, but I could call them for you, tell them you are safe. They don't need to know my name or where I live, but all parents want to know their children are well,"

I wanted to scream in his face, that I had no family. My family had been Mason, and he was dead now. There was no one I would call to tell I was alive and fine, not even my old aunt who had died several years ago.

"I have no family who need to know I'm safe," I said, sad, and felt Esme give my hand a squeeze under the table.

For some reason, she seemed more upset about the situation than I did. In fact it was me who should sit and cry, while I gave some sick life story, who told how terrible my life had been. But instead, it was Esme who sat and looked sad, while I barely gave the past a thought. Esme surely imagined I either had lived my life in a basement, or on the street.

"As you wish," sighed Carlisle. "But that leaves me with few choices, since I cannot let you go unless I know where you are, and someone is watching you," he held a finger up when I was about to protest, and I was silent. "No matter what I'll have to keep an eye on you in one way or another, so don't start that protest again," he warned.

"But..."

"No, Claire!" Interrupted Esme, and raise her voice for the first time. "Carlisle is right, you are still a child and need adults around you to help and guide you through life. I'm not going to let you go, and the rest of my life consider what happened to you, and if it's my fault!"

"I'm not a child anymore, I'm sixteen years Esme, it's long time since I needed help..."

"You are a child," interrupted Carlisle with a calm voice. "Whatever you say, your still a child. I am over three hundred years old ... sixteen years is nothing in a vampire's life,"

"Car ..."

"This is not up for discussion," he stated. "I don't want to argue with you, but if you absolutely must know, then I am not going to change my mind,"

That removed my last arguments, and I looked shamefully down at the table. I had never had problems with arguing with others, but Carlisle and Esme made me feel like it was wrong. Normally I would have screamed at the person by now, but it just seemed like a bad idea.

I think we all knew I didn't gave up, but it was pointless to discuss further. Carlisle had already proved he was stronger and faster than me, and would get his way.

So instead of continuing to discuss, he changed the subject,

"Both me and Esme love you incredibly much," he started, and sent me a gentle smile. "You've only known us for a short time, and may have difficulty seeing us in the same way, but we see you as part of the family. We don't know much about you or your past, but the girl we have met, is someone we love dearly. None of us could bear the thought of losing you, and ask you to stay with us,"

For a moment, I didn't understand what he said, but then they words reached my brain.

He wanted me to live with them? He asked me to stay with him and Esme, Emmett, and all his other children?

I looked at him for a moment, to see if he would laugh and say it was a joke, but he looked seriously back.

"You ... you want me to stay here? Together with you, your family?" I asked incredulously, and looked at him in astonishment.

No one had ever given me an offer like that before, and I was not sure if he meant it. Why should he want me to stay? I was nothing but a problem, a pest that should be killed, I was not something people wanted to keep.

"Yes, I'd like you to stay here, with all my heart," he replied and confirmed the impossible. "I am asking you to live with us, call our house for home, and change your name to Claire Cullen. I would treat you like all my other children, you would get your own room, and go back to school. We could tell you about who you were, and teaches you how to switch to wolf ... but only if you want, I will not force you, "

"And what about your children, do they want me to stay," I asked nervously .

I could not imagine Rosalie was happy about the idea. The last few days she had acted like a bitch, and I really wanted to kick her very hard. Emmett was probably glad if I would move in, and we could talk horror movies the next four years, but what about the rest of their family? I had mostly tried to avoid them, knowing I would run away soon.

"I've talked with them, and they all hope that you will say yes," Carlisle assured me with a smile, and Esme took my hand under the table.

"We know it's a big decision, but we love you very much, and I can't think of our family without you in the picture,"

That's was what they kept saying... they _loved me_. I never thought about the words as more than a bad joke, and no one had said them out loud... until now. I could not decide on whether I believed them, or it was like all the other times, when it was words without meaning.

"And are there other options?"

I knew it was evil of me to ask, and I could see the disappointment in their faces, but I had to know if there were others opportunities. I was the responsible of my own life, and I was the only one who should decide how the rest of it looked like. If there were other options that were better than to stay in Forks, I would not hesitate to say yes. I knew it would hurt Esme and Carlisle's feelings, but it was my life, and I had to take the decision that was best for me.

"The other option," Carlisle answered, with a more depressed voice, and took an envelope out of his pocket. "Is moving away from here."

He gave me the big envelope, and signaled I could open it.

In the envelope was everything I could ever need.

A one-way ticket to Alaska, a passport with the name Claire Anne Plat, and more money than I had ever owned. When I looked further into the envelope, I saw there were two keys that looked brand new, along with a driver's license with a photo of me, I had no idea where came from. All with the name Clare Anne Platt and I knew right away this was done illegally. In the corner of the envelope was a black plastic cards, tucked away between the money. It was a credit card, and from previous experience, I knew it was meant to transfer large amounts of money.

"Down in the envelope you will find everything you could need," explained Carlisle, and I looked wide-eyed at him. "There's a flight ticket to Alaska that can be used whenever you want. The keys are to a car I bought for you, and a house in Fairbanks in Alaska. You can live a normal life there, with friends and school, and you will receive a monthly amount of money from me, you can live for. In the papers, you will stand as our niece whose parents have died, but I promise we will not visit you unless you ask us to. I have some friends in Alaska, who has promised to keep an eye on you, but otherwise no one will interfere in what you do, as long as you do not create trouble and go to school. When you arrive, there will be a letter from me in the house, in which there will be information about werewolves, but otherwise you can have a normal life. If you choose to move away, you will already start at a new school next week, and can put all this behind you,"

He sounded so sad when he said it, and I could see a tear roll down his cheek. Both he and Esme looked so heart broken at the thought, and it was hard for Esme not to hold my hand.

"This is your choice Claire," he reminded me, and smiled sadly through the tears. "You have to make the choice you feel comfortable about, and we will not stand in the way of your happiness. We all love you very much, and you are considered as a part of the family, and will continue to be, but you should be allowed to decide what you want. The choice is yours, and you must not think of us ... just yourself,"

I looked first at him and then at Esme. They made it all so difficult, by keep saying they loved me... it had always just been bullshit in my ear that didn't make sense, but they kept saying it.

But in a way, it was a simple choice.

There were two choices, where one gave me access to a family, that could help me to accept the wolf in me. I had never received such an offer, without there was something behind it, but Esme and Carlisle was serious... they just wanted me to live here.

But the other offer gave me everything I dreamed of. An independent life where I had my own money, car and a house. It was Carlisle who paid, but I was still taking my own decisions. There was only someone who was watching me from a distance, and - according to Carlisle - I could already start at school on Monday. No one would know who I was, and I could start on a fresh. Getting a scholarship, and take the education I dreamed of.

It would be a lonely life in a house all alone...

But I had lived my whole life in solitude, where Mason was my only friend ... I could get me a dog if that was the problem.

My choice was between a new beginning, where I could forget my past.

Or a new life where I would be reminded about I was a werewolf.

* * *

SO HAPPY NEW YEAR! ;D

This was Chapter 8 of Breath of light, and I hope you enjoyed.

Surprised over was what I the envelope, someone who recognize the name Anne Platt?

Do you think Claire is going to move to Alaska, and who do you think Carlisles "Friends" is? (okay that's easy)

So thank you to HollyCulle5 for the lovely review :D

And to the unknown Guest :D

And big thanks to Jules Ann for her huge PM, (I really love you for that) :D

PLEASE REVIEW AND MAKE MY DAY AMAZING! :D


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Carlisle's P.O.V

Time stopped, while Claire chose her future.

I don't know if it took seconds, minutes or hours, before she said anything, while I sat still as a statue.

I wanted her to stay with all my heart, so she could be a part of my family. There was so much I wanted to show her, so much I wanted to do for her. I wanted to know everything about her, and make sure she got all the love she had missed...

But I couldn't give her my love, if she wouldn't accept it. No matter what she decided today, I had to accept it knowing it was what she wanted.

But I would be sad if she went to Alaska, so I never saw her again.

Eleazar had promised to keep an eye on her, if she chose to move away from us. She would never get to meet him, because he would watch her from a distance, when he was in town. Their whole family lived far away in Alaska's wilderness, where no one came by, but he could run into the city in a half hour so he could quickly help her.

But I would still be worried

I looked over at Esme, and I could see she was just as tense as I was. We both cried, and Esme had placed her arms protectively around her chest. At that moment, I regretted so badly she came with us, even though she had been fantastic when Claire needed comfort, after she transformed back to human. I knew Claire had refused to cry eventually, though Esme had tried, but I guessed it was a mystery more about Claire.

For a moment, I wanted to be Edward.

Claire looked so thoughtful, but her face was a mask. I could see she was considering all options, and the good and bad sides of them, but I could not see what her response would be. Her eyes were beginning to be moist, and a single tear rolled down her cheek, but I didn't knew what made her sad.

Maybe it was too early to give her the choice. I had not even given her the chance to stay with us, and see the real Cullen family. She didn't knew what she was saying yes or no to, and she was so young. I suddenly doubted her ability to take care of herself, and wished I could take my offer back... tell her I had changed my mind, and whether she liked it or not she was going to stay right here.

But I had given her choice, and she had the right to choose.

I knew it was possible to postpone her choice, tell her she should take time and think it all through. She needed the time, but I could see on her face she was going to a take choice now. I wanted her the use time on this, and might stay some days at our house, but at the same time, I didn't knew if I could look at her every day, knowing she could be gone tomorrow forever.

Not forever, I reminded myself, and remembered why we sent her to Alaska.

The whole idea was we could try again in a few years. We had all known she could be so afraid of us, that it would be impossible for her to live with us... so Alaska was more a temporary home. She could get a chance to think it all through, and when we visited her a year later, she would either be able to conclude she was afraid of us, or realize how much we loved her.

That was why we gave her the name Claire Anne Platt. It was Esmes idea, that we were going to use the middle name and surname, she had as a human, so we always could find Claire again. At the same time it looked more realistic, since she was our niece in the papers, but from Esmes side of the family.

We would not give up.

"Claire nobody says you have to make the decision right now ..." I began, and was worried she didn't thought it trough

"It's okay, I've made my choice," she interrupted, and her bright blue eyes met mine.

Her eyes were so innocent it made my heart soft. They told she never had tried to hurt anyone, yet she ended up in so much trouble so she became an adult before time. She had in a young age learned to take care of herself, not because she wanted to... she had been forced.

"What have you chosen then?" I asked nervously, trying to see the answer in her eyes, lips or body language, but there was nothing to read.

It was now the final moment, where everything would be settled, and I feared the future more than ever.

"You have done so much for me," Claire began, and a tear rolled down her cheek. "I ... I can not ask for more, yet you sit here and offer me family and future..."

She looked so broken, that she could hardly say the next sentence.

"But I cannot take that offer... no matter how much you say you love me, and you want me to stay here, I can't say yes... I..."

"Don't leave!" Whispered Esme, and cried. "We can work it out together, if you're afraid of us we can..."

"I'm not afraid of you," refused Claire. "It has nothing to do with you as a person... but the love your trying to give me..." Claire stopped for a moment, and looked crushed on both of us, while she searched for the right words. "... I can't give it back! I try, but I'm not able to do it. You have been so kind to me, and I wish I could give you something back, but I have no money... and I'm not even able to show you the love you are trying to show me."

Large tears rolled down everyone's cheeks, and in front of me were two broken people. Personally, I felt there was an empty hole in my dead heart, that would never heal again, and I could see Esme felt the same.

But Claire's eyes seemed more broken than ever. They had been crushed the first time I saw her, but now I realized that I just crushed them even more.

"And you're sure this is what you choose," I asked sad, and added. "Maybe you want more time to think about it? It's a big choice you are going to take, that will change your whole future..."

"I already thought it through," interrupted Claire, and tears ran down her cheeks. "you've been really kind to me, and you know I'm not afraid of you... I... I just need to find myself before I can accept who I am... and I can't do that if there are supernatural creatures around me. I need to start on a new life a new place, where nobody knows me and nobody knows I am werewolf... I 'm not asking you to understand my choice, but I hope you can accept it,"

In the three hundred years I have lived, had a person never broke my heart more than Claire. Most of all I just wanted to say that changed my mind, and drag her back to the house, where I would hold her until she gave up. Make her feel loved until the broken eyes were replaced, with those eyes she must have had once. I would lock her in the basement, if that was what it would take to make her understand, as long as I knew she was safe. I would gladly chain my wrists to hers, if knew where she was the rest of my life.

But I couldn't do any of it, I could just watch as she broke my family's heart, hers own, and mine.

"Is that your final choice," I asked with sadness in my voice, and kept thinking on, that I could talk to her about a year from now, and convince her to come home.

But so much could happen in one year.

"It is my final decision," nodded Claire through.

But Esme didn't accept the decision, and she turned her tearful face to Claire. I could see in her eyes that momma bear was coming up, and she would not let her young cub leave us without a fight.

"Please Claire, we love you so much... you... you can't leave us, please! You are part of this family... if you just give us a chance... we could help... we could show you how much we love you..."

"I can't Esme," interrupted Claire, and moved further away from her.

"A chance..." whispered Esme, and took a hard hold of her hand. "...That's all I ask for!"

Claire bite her lower lip, and looked heartbroken on Esme for a moment... but then something happened. The broken look in her eyes was tucked away and instead came a thick shield between us and her feelings. They were hard and cold, like she needed to protect herself from us, and she stopped crying.

"I know I already have asked of more than I should," Claire began, and turned her head in my direction. "But can you drive me to the airport?"

I wanted to say no.

I wanted to say that she should think this over again, before I pulled her into my arms, and kept her there until she realized how much we loved her.

But if I said no, she would never understand we loved her. She would see us as her captors, who made sure she didn't ran away. That way, she'd hate us because we gave her a chance, only to take it away from her again. Although I loved her, I could not force her to stay and love us...

"It's no trouble at all," I sighed, but kept a brave face on... for her and Esmes fault. "I guess you'd like to leave now?"

A simple nod from her was enough, to confirm what I had already guessed. So we all began to walk home, and though Esme wanted to fight for Claire she understood it was no use. One look told me she was crushed, and in her eyes she was about to lose a child ... like she lost her son so many years ago. I put a comforting arm around her as we walked, hoping she could calm down enough so she didn't break down in front of Claire, but Esme eyes was on the girl in front of us.

When the house came into view, none of us had said a word. I could see Emmett, Leah, Bella, Alice and Edward waited outside, anxious to welcome their new sister. Emmett looked so excited and innocent. He looked like someone who was ready to hug what he thought would be his new sister, but as he came towards us, he could see something was wrong.

Maybe it was because we didn't walked side by side, with our arms around each other shoulders, or the tears that ran down our cheeks... I don't know, but our entire atmospheres expressed sorrow. Emmett noticed it right away, and stopped few steps away from Claire.

There had only been one ending in Emmett's world. In his dream, we would have walked smiling with Claire between us, and proclaimed Claire officially was a part of the family. Then Emmett would swing Claire around in the air, and give her a stupid nickname, before we all went inside and celebrated...

He had never thought that Claire might would be afraid of us, or didn't love us. We all had engulfed ourselves in a child's dream, while Claire had remained in the adult's world.

Therefore, he looked completely crushed, when Claire looked with dead zombie eyes. No one had told him anything, but he already knew it.

And in an instant, all of his childish dreams shattered. As a mirror that is dropped on the floor and breaks. His eyes were filled with tears, as he reached for Claire, but she took a step back.

"Clairry..." he mumbled confused, and used the nickname he had given her the first day.

She said nothing, she did nothing, she just stood there and looked with those cold dead eyes.

"Don't do this..." he whispered broken, and went a step forward, but she didn't move. "You're already my little sister ... so don't leave me... you're part of the family ... I know we seem scary right now, and all this vampire stuff seems new, but..."

He began to talk in a long stream, and said sentences you couldn't connect. Claire didn't move out of the place... no one said anything, did anything, we just listened until Claire took the last step toward him, and he was silent on the spot.

She placed her long thin fingers on his cheeks, and lifted her head up so she looked him in the eyes. They stood close, chest to chest, and he had to feel her breath on his skin. For a moment she smiled a small smile that didn't made her look happy, it seemed half-hearted and sad, but it suited her eyes that expressed the same feelings.

"Goodbye Emmett," she whispered, sending him one last smile before she turned her back to us, and walked toward the house.

A frustrated roar broke through the air, and Emmett sank to his knees, tears rolled down his cheeks. He began to rock himself back and forth while he was saying Maisie and Claire's names, repeat them over and over again, tears rolling down his cheeks. For several seconds, I was frozen, I could not move while Emmett's sobs reached my ear.

The only one that could move was Claire. Her face was carved out of stone, and she looked straight ahead. The only sign of this was touching her a bit, was her hands that hang down the side with clenched fists, showing her thin bones and white knuckles

As she walked past my four other children, Edward grabbed her wrist, and she turned her head toward him. Their eyes met in a seconds, and when she was cold and dead in the eyes, was Edwards filled with sorrow.

"Don't do this," he whispered hoarsely. "You may not believe in love, but it exists. Just because Mason is dead, doesn't mean life is over, you still have the chance to live... and right now you're about to make a choice you will regret,"

I knew Edward had read her thoughts, and I would like to know who Mason was... why he was dead? But I didn't had time to get the details.

I was expecting Claire would show some kind of emotion, because Edwards words. That she would be angry or cry, but she just tore her hand from Edward's grip, and turned her head towards me.

"Can we drive now?" She asked in a monotone voice. "I don't want to miss my flight,"

With those words, she turned her back to us all, and walked toward the house. I looked at Esme, who was coming out of her trance by the sound of one of her children crying. Tears still ran down her cheeks, but it didn't prevent her from running over to Emmett, and wrap her little arms around him. My whole family looked horrified at him, because Emmett never reacted that way, and I walked over to him.

"Get her back!" He sobbed when I was standing I front of him. "Get her back daddy!"

But what should I say to him?

I could not get her back. If I pulled her inside and held her prisoner, she would hate us forever, and crush our heart even more...

So I didn't said anything to Emmett, no words of comfort like _daddy is going to get her back_, because I couldn't. All I could do was to pat him on the head, and know my wife was there to comfort him, before I turned my back to both of them, and pulled the car keys out of the pocket.

As I walked past Alice, Bella, Leah and Edward, none of them said anything, even though Alice had begun to cry. They all looked sad because their brother was crying, and what they thought was their sister, was going to leave us.

When I came to the house, I could see Claire was waiting in front of the garage. She didn't look at me as I opened the car, and without a word she open the door in my black Mercedes. She just stared straight ahead, and not so much as moved as I climbed into my car.

"Is there anything you want with you, that's in the house? Alice has already packed clothes for you, "I asked, and was sure she even would talk to me.

She still had the envelope in her hand, I had given her at the lake, but otherwise she had nothing more than what she was wearing. Alice had packed a suitcase for her, even though we thought it wasn't necessary, but for Alice it had been an excuse to shop. I had put the suitcase in my car, in case she had been so frightened that she needed to leave.

"I have everything I need," she replied quietly, and did not even look at me.

I sighed, and started the car. The drive to Seattle airport was two hours long, and I didn't knew if I could continue to look brave, and be calm. I had to hold hard in the steering wheel in order not to turn around, and pull her back inside the house.

As we drove down the driveway, could we hear Emmett crying inside the car and I looked behind me, where I saw Rosalie sitting on the ground with him as she stared angry at the car. Edward and Bella stood a little further away and comforted Esme, who looked lost after us. The rest of the family had placed themselves on the porch, and looked sad at us. Alice was still crying, while jasper tried to comfort her, and my three wolf children had tears in their eyes.

And I drove Claire away, while I crushed our family.

"Do they hate me now?" asked Claire quietly, and pulled me out of my thoughts.

I looked astonished at her, and saw she was serious. She didn't look sad, or happy, she looked just curious.

"No one hates you," I assured her, and sent a half-hearted smile. "What would make you think that? "

I realized how stupid my question was, the moment it had come out of my mouth ... _what would make you think that?_

"They looked pretty upset," she murmured, and continued to look down. "So I just thought that maybe..."

"No one hates you because you made a choice," I interrupted. "We had not given it to you the choice, if we could not accept your answer, and even if we wanted you to choose the other offer, you still have the right to decide. Our life will remain the same, yours could change drastically,"

"So you don't hate me?" She asked surprised.

"Never,"

After that she became quiet the rest of the trip, and I guessed she simply had no more to say. I had assured her we didn't hated her or were angry with her, and in Claire's world that was all she needed to hear. I was pretty sure Rosalie hated her, because she had hurt her beloved, but I decided not to tell Claire. She had not done anything wrong, we had given her a choice, and she choose.

The rest of the trip is not worth describe, because nothing happened. We did not talk to each other, and Claire looked everywhere else than me. She left me to my thoughts, and the only thing I could think of was that this was the last moment with Claire, for a long time. The only fair thing, that could force me to take her back to forks, was if she made trouble, and proved she wasn't ready to live alone.

When we got to the airport, it seemed like I had only been two minutes since I started the car. There were people all over the place, and I parked in front of the entrance, in the only available space. Claire was already on her way to out of the car when I grabbed her wrist, and held her back.

"You can still change your mind," I reminded her, hoping she would do it. That there was a tiny chance she regretted her choice, but it was Claire and she was stubborn.

"I've made my decision," said Claire solid.

"Just remember you always can call us, and our home will always be open," I sighed, and together we stepped out of the car.

I went into the airport with her, and carried her suitcase for her. Up at the counter we got her ticket to Alaska, in two hours, and I paid extra for someone to follow her out to the plane. She protested extremely against it, but I was not going to let her sneak aboard the next flight to Los Angeles, so I had no idea where she was. She kept saying she could do it on her own, but I gave her a reproving glance and she stopped.

When we had her ticket, a sweet lady came to take her out to the plane, and my time was over. In front of us was the security check, and I could not go any longer. It was time to say goodbye, and I gave her the last instructions.

"When you come to Alaska, there will be someone to follow you through the airport and out to the parking lot. In the parking lot is the car you got the keys to in the envelope, and there will be a navigation device and an address to the house in the car. Do not hesitate to call if there is the slightest problem no matter what time it is, or if you just need to talk. There are a mobile in your new home, with all of our numbers, and if there is anything, call us,"

Claire nodded to everything I said, and sent me a brave little smile. She glanced once at the people who stood in line to get through security, and then looked at me again.

Without thinking I pulled her into a hug, so her head was buried in my chest, and I stroked her dark curls. I lowered my head down to her ear, so she couldn't avoid my words.

"I know you won't believe me, but Claire, I love you with all my heart as a father loves his daughter, and I am so sorry you are leaving us. I will always consider you as a part of my family, no matter what you say, and I know we will meet again. The day I found you on the road, is a day I never will forget, and even if you say you can't love, I don't believe you. I think you can love, but you have hide it far away because you're scared, and I really wish I could protect you from you fear, but you won't let me do it. I love you as my daughter no matter what, and I wish you gave me more time to prove it,"

Those were my last words to her, and I had played all my cards. There was a little spark in me, hoping she would change her mind and take home again... where she belonged.

But Claire's eyes remained cold, and without warning, she kissed me lightly on the cheek, so I could feel her breath. It was warm and comfortable against my cold skin, and I looked into her big eyes that smiled back. They seemed suddenly warm, as if my words had thawed them up, and I saw the love in them...

"Goodbye Carlisle Cullen," she whispered, and turned on her heel before I could say anything.

I don't know how long I stood there and looked, but eventually it dawned on me… she was gone. Large tears rolled down my cheek, and I went to my car to get peace to cry. No one noticed me, and I climbed in and began driving back Forks.

As I drove out of the airport gate, I saw a plane over me, and heard the sharp sound of the engine. I wondered if Claire was sitting in the plane in a soft comfortable seat... what was she doing? Did she act perfectly normal, or did she cry?

It was one thing I would never find out, I realized, and drove out to the highway.

I never thought she would accept the offer and move... I had seen it as a generous selection that made her think she could decide. I thought she was settled in so well, that she would not consider leaving, but I was wrong. What I was not prepared for, was she was afraid of us, and was scared of we were vampires, but I had told myself I could calm her down, and she wouldn't be scared. That I could calm her and get her to realize we were not dangerous, so the ticket to Alaska were not even necessary.

But I had never thought that she chose Alaska to escape us and herself.

When I came close to Forks, I began to search for the place where I found her. I don't know why, but I just needed to see the place, knowing she had been standing there, touched the ground with her bare feet. For a human, it would be impossible to find the spot, but I recognized it right away, on the branches of trees, and ... for some reason did it smell of Claire. The sweet smell that was a mixture of carnations and hyacinths, hit my nose immediately, and hope rose up in me. The smell was so stretch and clear that it may have something to do with Claire, and I acted without thinking.

With a quick swing I parked the car on the roadside and got out. Although I was a vampire , I almost stumbled over my feet while I smelled the environment.

The scent came from the roadside, around the place I had found Claire, for what seemed like an eternity ago. Her scent got stronger as I got on the other side of the car, and I looked confused around.

I moved closer to where there was grass instead of asphalt, where the side of the road stopped, and the nature started. The smell was so clear that I almost expected to see her, but to my disappointment, there was nobody.

With a frustrated roar, I fell to the ground and pounded my fists into the grass. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I cried and cried. It was all becoming too much, and I wished it was a bad dream, but I was a vampire ... I didn't sleep. Claire was as real as you could get, and now she had left my family, left Esme... and left me!

I kept beating the ground with my fists, while I breathed Claire scent, and was reminded about she was alive. The tears came down my cheeks, and landed in the grass, where they would be hidden away. My hands buried themselves angrily in the grass, and I lowered my fingers into the soil where they got brown and dirty.

That was the moment I saw there was something in the grass, which was neither leaves nor soil.

Something brown lay curled up between the blades of grass, that was long enough to a wolf could wear it. It was a necklace with a small feather, where the string was of brown leather, which smelled of Claire. It was the one I had smelled inside the car, and without hesitation, I picked it up. I was already sure it was hers, she must have lost the day I found her. It was wet from the rain, but she must have had it on every day, because her scent had penetrated strongly into the leather. It looked homemade, and I wondered who had made it... was it her, or someone she knew? Whoever it was, I knew it was hers and I would take care of it until I saw her again.

Because I would see her again.

* * *

HEY AGAING

So Claire did actually, what do you think, did she make a bad choice, was it evil of her to leave?

I can tell next chapter is going to be from her P.O.V, and she is going to do something really stupid, what do you think it is?

And do you want more flashback with Mason? :D

Have a nice day :D

**Please reviw!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Claire P.O.V

I looked through my suitcase, and tried to find something I could wear. The clothes lay in piles everywhere in my room, on the bed, chair and floor. It would be a lot easier to find a dress, if I had packed my suitcase out and used my walk in closet, but I couldn't even get myself to do it five weeks after I moved.

Actually did everything seem like a big task right now.

School, homework ... just to eat seemed like a hard thing, and I eventually stopped trying. It was a good day if I ate in the cafeteria at school, or ate some cheap food from the nearest fast food restaurant. I was only getting thinner day by day, and I don't remember last time I ate breakfast.

I think it was because of Mason. He was in my nightmares constantly, and during the day I couldn't think of anything else than him... and the Cullen's.

I kept thinking about all of them, and I kept thinking of what they were during now? How is Emmett after I broke his heart… is he okay?

Their faces kept showing up in the end of my nightmares, and the broken faces was all I could see. But it was Mason that opened the doors to my dreams, and let them come inside while he screamed at me... asked why I left them.

But what should I say? The truth was I was a coward, who couldn't understand what the word love meant, but Mason said that was a lie. He was no longer just a bit friendly, and seemed more frustrated every time I saw him. It was like he saw it as a sport to make me sad, so he was the only thing I could think of, dreaming or not.

_Project, find myself no longer existed. _I thought sarcastically as I looked through the suitcase.

The school could no longer catch my interest, and I didn't even try to make my homework now. Christmas Eve had been a nightmare where my only company had been myself, and I ended up taking sleeping pills to get over with it.

I had, however, quickly realized one pill wasn't enough, it just made me a little sleepy. Eventually I ended up empty most of the glass, and had finally fallen asleep.

But Mason also hunted my dreams Christmas Eve.

I pushed the thoughts away while I searched through my clothes, and finally found what I was looking for.

A black tight dress.

It was just like I wanted it, so you could see the most of my legs, and a little bit of my breast. The black color made my blue eyes more beautiful, and was a good contrast to my brown skin.

I looked at the clock, to see if I could take a quick shower, and decided there was time enough. Dax had said we needed to meet late, because he had to hang out with some friends first, and I didn't care what time we met. I didn't knew if he saw this as a date, but for my he was just a source to get what I wanted. The guy was cute enough, when you looked past the blond greasy hair, old leather jacket and the smell of alcohol that surrounded him. At the start, I thought he was a creepy person, but we had been biology partners over the last five weeks and I realized we had something's I common.

First, none of us likes biology, or any other subjects in school. I had to realize that Mason was the one who had made me do my homework, and it was him that made me love math, but now he was gone and I hated the subject. Dax and I was like twins, we both came from the bad part of a city, had a bad childhood, and had been in fight more than once. No one else at the school talked to him, because he could be scary, and it was a great advantage because they stopped talking to me to...

I understood Dax and he understood me.

When I had been in bath and washed my hair, I took the dress on, and let my hair be loose. Alice had packed a pair of black high heels, and I grabbed them before I went into the living room.

Although I was not sure, it looked like Esme had decorated the house where Carlisle is letting me stay. It was a small house on one level, with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and a living room, but it was luxuriously furnished. All in pale colors, like their own home, and cream-colored pillows that made me sick.

It looked like a small model of their own, and If I looked at the decoration, I thought of Esme. I had considered painting the walls, or throw the furniture out, but it was Carlisle's property, and I couldn't throw something out that wasn't mine.

But it made me depressed to look at.

I looked on the clock, to see when Dax was going to pick me up, and began to feel bad for what I was going to do.

I knew what I had to do was wrong, but I could not stand it anymore. The wolf, Mason and the Cullen's was all I could think on, and I just got more depressed. The white wolf was always in my nightmare, by Masons side, and her eyes told me everything. She was angry with me and growled sometimes.

But while the wolf seemed angry and Mason was frustrated, was the Cullen's in sorrow. Most of the times I saw Emmett in distance, on his knees, and heard the terrible cry I had heard the day I left. Esme alwayse begged me to come home, and Carlisle was saying he loved me. They always cried, and sometimes the whole family was there. They were always in the background, with tears in their eyes, and even Rosalie cried.

What I needed was to see their happy faces, and there was only one solution.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when the doorbell rang, and jumped up from the sofa. The doorbell rang again, and this time I went out to open.

Outside stood Dax in his dirty leather jacket, and got big eyes when he saw my tight dress.

"Claire... nice to see you," he murmured shy, and looked down. He's cheeks became red after he noticed I saw him staring, but I didn't comment it and sent him my best smile.

"Dax, shall we go?"

He nodded his head to say yes, and I locked the door before we went over to his car. I don't know how he had acquired a car, maybe he had stolen it, but it was certainly old and dirty. I was quiet sure it would be more pleasant to drive in mine, but I refused to drive it since I arrived. The only time I touched it was at the airport, where I was forced to use it. Therefore, Dax car seemed much more interesting, even though it looked like shit.

"You look really good..." muttered Dax shyly and began to drive toward the city.

I looked down at myself, and it was not words like pretty I wanted to hear. In my eyes, I looked more like a whore in a too- tight dress that was showing how thin I was ... witch was what I needed tonight.

"Thanks,"

"I bought some beer for tonight... but if you don't like that, we can buy something else..." explained Dax shy, and drove towards the bad side of town, where the walls were worn and graffiti was a normal thing to see.

"Beer is fine," I thanked, and didn't care what I was drinking... just I got something with alcohol.

"Good..." muttered Dax shy, and looked nervously at me. "Some of my friends are in my apartment, if you do not mind? They would like to meet you..." he explained shy and nervously ran his hand through his hair.

"It's fine," I smiled , and could not help but feel bad about what I was going to do.

I admit this was evil against Dax. He was really a sweet boy, who found it difficult to be friends with other boys, without it ended in a fight, but he was really gentle with girls. However, girls at school didn't new that, and Dax had been desperate for a friend, and I had used that information to my own benefit. Actually, he was a nice guy, who found it hard to make a conversation with a girl, so it was awkward for both parts.

The rest of the ride was quiet. Dax found it difficult to start a conversation, and tried to be focused on the road instead. I was more than relieved when he finally stopped, and happy for his friends was here to make this less awkward.

Dax started to live alone when he was sixteen, after his parents threw him out of the house. Neither of his parents had been rich, and they hadn't given him any money before they threw him out on the streets, but Dax had survived with his _"job"_ and the money the state paid. But there couldn't be afforded to more than an old ramshackle apartment, that looked fine enough if you came from the life he did.

When we stepped into the hallway, it was already clear that someone had a party, and Dax led me up on the fourth floor, where the music was loudest.

"So this is where you live," I asked curiously, and smiled at Dax who held the door for me. He became red in the face in second because of the question, and looked shy on me.

"I apologize if it is not as nice as your house, but it's my home and it's fine for me…"

"I like it,"

"It's not the greatest, but..."

I do not know what he would have said after that, because at the same moment, stood a boy in front of us with a beer in one hand and a joint in the other.

"Is it your girlfriend Dax?" Asked the guy who sounded drunk. "She looks sexy!"

If it was possible, Dax became redder in the face, and pulled me away from the drunk dude with an apologetic glance.

"She's not my girlfriend Ash, and you better treat her properly, or I'll beat you so you can't walk for the next two years!"

I looked puzzled up at Dax, who went from looking embarrassed to look like a serious serial killer. Ash must have seen this was serious, because the goofy smile disappeared.

"Calm Dax... I would never touch her man... cool down friend, I wouldn't hurt her dude," defended Ash, and took a drag of his joint .

"We are friends unless you irritate Claire!" Snapped Dax, and sat down on the couch in what would be his living room.

He obviously needed to cool off, and quickly drank a beer in two mouthfuls before he calmed down. Then he looked more calm, and started to talk with a guy beside him.

His apartment wasn't large, and it was only a single room with a fridge and a sofa. Additionally, there was an open door to the toilet, where some boy stood and throw up. Besides him, there was the guy who sat next to Dax, and Ash. They all looked like Dax, with old dirty leather jackets and greasy hair, but I had seen worse.

"I'm sorry about Dax," whispered Ash, who still was standing beside me. "He has something with girls... but I am not quite sure what it is," he murmured, and handled his joint over to me. "You want a drag?" He offered.

Without hesitation I took the joint from him, and took a long drag of heaven. The smoke was a familiar taste in my mouth, which was a welcome friend. It was an eternity since last time I tried, and I became more relaxed on seconds.

"I am Ash by the way, if you don't already know that?" He introduced when I gave him the joint back, and he handed me a beer instead.

"I'm Claire?" I smiled, and discovered Ash and me would be great friends.

"Claire... sounds like an angel," smiled Ash, and ran his hand through the black hair.

"I don't think angels drink beers," I said sarcastically, and looked around in the room. "Who are the other two?" I asked curiously, and looked over at Dax who looked angry at Ash.

"Oh forgive me my manners, the guy with the red hair who throws up is Daniel," explained Ash, pointing to the thin guy with the green eyes. "And the dude beside Dax with blond hair is Chris," presented Ash, and Chris waved and smiled at me when his name was mentioned. Compared to Daniel who didn't own many muscles, Chris was stuffed with them. He was close to being a bodybuilder, and I was pretty sure the boy could carry me and Ash at the same time.

"So ... I have not seen you in town before," smiled Ash, and guided me towards the sofas, where I sat next to Dax.

"I'm new here," I mumbled, trying to forget Mason and the Cullen's.

As the evening continued, did the boys get more funny, and Dax was more talkative. It was probably the six beers he drank in one hour, and I drank five in the same time. Because of what I was, it took longer to get drunk, and it annoyed me it took so long before I could feel any effect. The other three boys drank far more than Dax and I, and I stopped counting. Soon they started to drink stronger stuff from some weird homemade bottles, and I don't know what it was, but it helped me to get drunk so I drank everything I could get.

I don't know what the boys did, because they were mostly talking and laughing of unexplained things, while I was in my own thoughts.

As I drank more alcohol, it was easier to think. It was suddenly not so hard to think of Mason, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, who was becoming blurry images in my mind. It all seemed like a dream many years ago, and in that moment, I wasn't a werewolf or a friend with Carlisle Cullen.

I was just Claire.

When I had asked Dax if I could see his apartment, I don't think he expected his friends would be here. Even I had thought it would be a little bit more quiet, but his friends could really make some noise, and I liked the noise... it drowned all the thoughts in my head.

When it became midnight, and normal people had gone to sleep, they still drank. Dax had fallen asleep beside me on the couch for some time ago, after more bears than I could count, and I had no idea how much I had been drinking either. All I knew was I was feeling great, and I didn't need to think on anything else than this moment. The others were still awake, but was more relaxed and tired. Daniel and Chris sat in the corner playing cards, without really saying anything, while they sipped to their beers and took drags from a joint. Ash had in a long time sat next to me, while he just stared at his friends with a silent mine.

It was hours ago I had realized Ash was my salvation.

The only reason I was friends with Dax, was because I had heard rumors about what he was doing, but I had gradually realized he was too overprotective. He would probably say no if I asked, because he knew the consequences, but Ash... Ash was perfect.

He had looked adoringly at me the whole evening, and had acted like a poppy. His gaze had often looked on my dress, and he had repeatedly touched my hair as we sat next to each other. He'd said yes no matter what I asked about, and was perfect. I knew it was evil of me to do, but we were a kind of friends now... and friends gave things to each other right?

"It's starting to become a bit boring, don't you think," I asked him with a smile, and placed my hand on his thigh. His eyes lit up on seconds, and he smiled teasingly back and placed his hand on top of mine.

"Do you have ideas," he asked with a grin, and he had definitely something in mind, that I wasn't going to do.

"I've heard rumors..." I mumbled with a sexy voice, and leaned against him.

"What kind of rumors?"

"Rumors of Dax... but also you, people say you sells something... something I really want to try," I whispered and looked him in the eyes.

A grin slid across his face, and he pulled two small bags out of his pocket, which contain what I needed.

"Do you mean this?" He asked teasingly, and I nodded vigorously.

"It was exactly what I meant,"

Ash glanced nervously over to Dax who was fast asleep, and looked back at me.

"He'll kill me if I do this..."

"But he's not going to know anything," I smiled and nodded in the direction of the toilet. "We just do it out there,"

Either Ash was really drunk, or was just easy to convince. Whatever he nodded happy to me suggestions, and together we crept into the bathroom, where Ash began making a two lines of powder at a small table.

I knew it was wrong of me to use someone else, to get free drugs, but I did not have so many choices. It would have been much easier if I had bought them for Carlisle's money, but I felt bad about that. He had not given the money to me, so I could by drugs, although I didn't use them anyway. It would have been much safer if I had done it at home, but at times I felt watched... and Carlisle had said his friends would be watching me. Therefore, I wouldn't be smart if they found me while I was stuffed with drugs, since I don't think Carlisle would be glad to hear that.

But I needed this.

I needed to forget everything for a while, I needed to give my thoughts peace... I needed to live. One like Carlisle who never had taken drugs would not understand it, but when the drug hit my brain, I felt relieved. I could forget the terrible thing that had happened to me, and look at the good things. Their sad faces had plagued me night and day, since I moved to Fairbanks, and I needed to see them happy again.

"Ladies first," smiled Ash, and pulled me out of my thoughts. He handed me a rolled up banknote, which I accepted without hesitation. It was a long times since I had done this, yet I could do it in sleep.

I turned to the two lines of what I guessed was heroin. With a smooth motion, I bowed my head down so I was just over one of the two lines, and without thinking about it, I sniffed it into the nose with the rolled-up banknote.

It seemed quite odd to do it again after so long, and I grimaced of the feeling I got in the nose. But soon a familiar feeling came over me, and a smile slid across my lips. Ash sniffed his part to, and soon we were sitting at the floor laughing.

It was like a rush went through my body, and stunned all my muscles, so I had no control over them. A sense of happiness flew over me, and everything worked perfectly the moment. Suddenly It seemed easy to be a werewolf, or have vampire friends. Mason's death was not so hard to bear, and somehow it all seemed so natural.

I began to see their faces again in my mind... and they smiled. Emmett didn't cry anymore and Carlisle looked happy. Mason got his skin color back, and didn't look like a ghost anymore... They all smiled together and whispered words of happiness, and a better future. All the others were there too, Alice, Jasper... even Rosalie, and she sent me a little shy smile...

But everything has an end, and just as quickly as it came, it disappeared again. The sad faces came back, and my body started to shake. Suddenly I didn't care about anything, and I looked over at Ash for help, so I could see them again.

Without a word he handed me some pills from a bag, he placed between us. He took a few of the pills, and we both swallowed them. I kept saying to myself that I was a werewolf, and needed more if it should work, and I took one, then two, then three. Eventually I stopped counting, but sat with a smile and looked at the strange colors.

The whole world was abstract, and I felt happy, while various heads showed up in the mirror. I could no longer remember their names, but I had seen them before and they smiled to me. Everyone was happy, and I was in a perfect balance. Neither too happy nor too sad, just perfect like when you actually don't feel anything, and felt everything at the same time!

Without thinking about it, I got up and decided to go outside. It was getting so hot, and my heart was beating faster than it used to. I laughed at the thought of how it looked outside, and slowly began to stagger out. I don't know how I came down the stairs, but suddenly I stood out in the cold night that felt so comfortable against my skin. Without thinking about it, I took a few more pills, and laughed loudly.

"Stop Claire,"

I turned toward the voice that echoed in my ear, and saw a familiar figure in front of me.

"Mason" I laughed. I can't really tell who he was, but his green eyes were familiar.

"What you are doing is stupid," he warned, and looked worried for me.

"What are you talking about... everything is perfect Mason... if... if you could see what I see right now... EVERYTHING IS PERFECT!"

"It's an illusion, you're on drugs," he explained cold, and looked angry. "What you see is not true, and you know as well as I do you'll be sad tomorrow, as you always have been,"

I had no idea what the strange guy was talking about, but maybe he mistook me for someone else. Everything around us was the funniest colors, and the snow reminded me of a rainbow with all the colors. Faces looked on me from all the windows glasses, and made the funniest faces. Mason was the only one in normal boring colors, and I wondered what was wrong with him.

"I'm not sad," I laughed. "If someone is sad it must be you, do you know how dull colors you have?"

"STOP IT CLAIRE!"

His voice was cold as ice, and reminded me of a storm. He was no longer friendly toward me, and gave me cold and angry looks instead. For some reason I started to cry because of it, and big tear rolled down my cheeks...

Why was he angry with me, I had not done anything?

"It had to stop Claire," he sighed angrily. "There is no point in you drink alcohol and take drugs. Until you can't walk...your problems won't disappear, the wolf will still be there and you won't forget the Cullen's. We will always be in your mind , night and day, no matter how much you try to forget. In time, we may become an old memory, you can't remember the details of, but you won't to forget us, throw us away and start on fresh, you won't to be a new person... but the truth is we always will be the same person, no matter..."

"Stop it!" I whispered frantically, and noticed how I struggled to get my breath.

My eyesight had begun to flicker, and the colors didn't make any sense anymore. The whole thing had been distorted so it no longer made sense, and it all seemed gray and cold. The only thing that still was sharp for me was Mason. Suddenly he didn't seemed so dull in the color, and he's green eyes were the only thing that reminded me of happiness.

"It's time you wake up," whispered Mason, and took a step closer. "It's time you stop dreaming,"

He was right in front of me and planted a gentle kiss, first at my forehead, then my cheeks and finally the mouth. He tasted of summer and sun, with a touch of something I couldn't tell what was. Without thinking about it, I pulled him closer, pressed my head against his, and wished it would last forever.

But nothing last forever, I realized, and before I knew it he broke the kiss and began to fade away. His body was completely transparent, and his last words were a whisper.

"It's time you start living,"

With those words, he disappeared, and I felt my eyes close while I hit the asphalt.

* * *

HEY everybody!

So drugs… someone who is surprised?

And do you think Carlisle is going to find out, and taker her home? :D

And really a big thanks to all that have review on last chapter Also to the guest that have made a review, and I really appreciate all of them. **So PLEASE continue to review! **

And a big thanks to Jules Ann, that have send the most wonderful PM :D


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Carlisles P.O.V

The sad atmospheres surrounded me, as I came home from my morning shift.

Five weeks later, and everybody was still sad. It was the first time in my life, that the children's weren't making noises constantly, and I missed it. Jacob didn't made any stupid comments anymore, and it was just before he and Rose had made peace. Rose had barely time to talk with him, because she was around Emmett constantly, who was a completely different person now.

_Emmett and Esme were the ones who had taken this hardest_, I thought sad, and climbed up the stairs to my office.

For Emmett it had been like losing his little sister again, and he was quiet and sad all the time. His eyes was no longer filled with happiness, but with a sadness that made me shiver inside. He did not talk so much like he did once, and the only thing he wanted to do, was to watch the horror movies he and Claire had watched.

Esme behaved quite differently from Emmett. She felt she had lost a child, as she had lost her baby as human, but she tried to live her life as before Claire came into the family. She cooked food, washed clothes and cleaned the house, as she always did, and talked with the children like nothing had happened, but when we were alone she cried, and I couldn't do anything to comfort her.

My family was scattered.

Both Alice, Jasper, Bella and Edward had gone on a long vacation, because they couldn't stand to be home. It was too much for Jasper, with all the sad feelings in the house, and Edward could not bear to hear our thoughts. Both their mates were took with them, and Alice and Jasper had gone to New York, while Bella and Edward was on Esmes Island

And I... I was devastated. Claire had a big place in my heart that was only hers, and I felt so empty without her. She didn't knew it, but she had destroyed our family, by turning her back on us. Although I wanted to cry and act like Emmett, I knew somebody had to take the responsibility of the family. The only thing that made me stay sane and focused, was her necklace. It reminded me about she still was alive, and I always wear it under my shirt. No one else knew I had found it, and somehow it was my little secret that reminded me of Claire lived.

When I came into my office, I placed my doctor bag on the table and sat down with a sigh in my chair.

It worried me everyone still was so sad after five weeks. The half of my children had been forced to travel away, and the other half was in sorrow. The only thing that could cheer Emmett and Esme up, was when Eleazar called to report about Claire, but that soon made them sad again.

According Elezars reports, Claire wasn't taking care of herself. When he went into town to see how she was doing, it was always the same he saw. Claire sitting on her bed, or the floor, staring blankly at the wall. He explained she was not crying, but she stared at nothing cold and sad, when he watched her. Besides that he had sneaked into her house, while she was in school, and had taken a look around. He was on the phone and had told her fridge was empty, and seems to be unused. In addition, he found her homework on the floor, and nothing had been finished.

That made me call her school. I had talked with one of her teachers, who told she barely made any of her homework, and what had been made gave no sense. It was half done things, where she had decided to stop in the middle of it, and then give it to the teacher. Lately she had not made anything at all, and it worried me. The school also told she often had skipped classes, and were not listening to the teachers when she came.

All those things filled my thoughts. I never got time to sit down with Claire and talk about her eating habits, and I regretted that now. According to Eleazar, there was no food and I knew Claire well enough to know, shed didn't eat, and although she was werewolf, there were limits to what she could handle.

But still I sat here and did nothing. Emmett was pushing me, saying we had enough evidence to bring her home, and we had ... but I couldn't do it.

What if she just needed some time, to make it all work? It would be unfair of me to drag her home, without giving her a chance. We had promised her we wouldn't disturb her any more, if she chose to leave.

Therefore, I just waited on some kind of sign...

"You are thinking about her again, aren't you?" Asked a voice in front of me, and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Esme..." I mumbled tired, and pulled her into my lap. "What are we going to do? Claire decided to leave, and our family is falling apart. Emmett is no longer Emmett, Rosalie is frustrated, Alice, Jasper, Bella and Edward had travel because of it..., and Jacob, Leah and Seth looks sad too. Jacob is not teasing Rosalie anymore, Leah prefer to be in her room, and Seth is doing the same! "

I felt the tears roll down my cheeks, as I realized how frustrated I was. It was weird to come home without Rosalie and Jacob arguing, or Emmett making some stupid jokes. The living room had always been the central room of the house, where there always was someone, but now the room felt empty. Everybody preferred to be in their own room, and I had taken more shift at the hospital to get away.

Christmas had been a sad sight, that was close to being canceled. My four children were already gone at that time, so we were only seven left. No one had really wanted to celebrate anything, and Christmas was a dark and sad thing.

"I don't know Carlisle," cried Esme, and had tears in her eyes. "Emmett has been sad for so long, that I can't remember the last time he smiled... and without Claire ... it feels like I have lost my son again, as I did when I was a human," whispered Esme tearfully, and without a think about it I began to rock her back and forth.

"No one is dead," I whispered comforting, and rested my chin on her head, that was pressed against my chest. "Edward, Bella, Alice and Jasper are only temporarily gone, because of their abilities... and Claire..."

What should I say? _Claire is just afraid for herself, and do not understand what it means to love, so I don't think she will be back soon?_

"Claire just need some time," I said instead, and Esme raised her head when I mentioned Claire's name.

"I don't like what Eleazar has reported," she mumbled, and was still crying. "She isn't taking care of herself, and is skipping school... she has already broke the deal Carlisle..."

"Esme, she needs time before we..."

"No Carlisle! We have already given her five weeks to adapt, and she has done very bad. You said we would not disturb her life unless she caused trouble or skipped school... and she has already given us enough evidence on, she isn't ready to take care of herself!"

"Esme we all miss her, but we..."

"It's not an excuse because I miss her," interrupted Esme. "I know it looks like that, but she has been given five weeks now, and she has not done a single thing to prove she was right, it's about time she gets home! I know you're scared to drive up and take her home, because you think she'll think it's a poor excuse, because we miss her,"

"Esme, we have to give her a chance. The reason we let her go at first, was she didn't wanted to be here, and I will not force her home unless she does something crazy,"

"This can't go on any longer," argued Esme. "We gave her a chance to go to school and get an education, and she is destroys it for herself. I fear for her health Carlisle, Eleazar says there is no food in her house... and we both know that's not because she eats elsewhere. If this continue I fear for her health and future,"

I looked down at Esme with thoughtful eyes, and I could see her point. It didn't sound like Claire feel good mentally or physically, and her own health was at risk. Esme was already sure in her decision, and although I had hesitated long, I was beginning to see it from her view...

"Maybe we should start with a visit," I suggested, and could see the disappointment in my beloveds eyes. "We could give her the offer to stay with us again, and maybe she has changed her mind..."

"And if she says no?"

"Then we accept it, and have a serious talk about what she will have to change, because we can't let her live her like that, and give her one last chance,"

"But if she continues to live as she does now, she has to comes home, even if I need to get her alone," decided Esme, and crossed her arms over the chest.

"I promise you, I will carry her home, if she won't follow willingly," I smiled and kissed her on the cheek.

It made Esme happy, that we did something, instead of waiting on something that never would come. Truth to tell, I wanted Esme to stay home, because I was scared for Claire would say something, that could break Esmes heart even more. But I knew Esme and I would end in a fight, if I suggested she stayed home, so I hoped Claire would behave… or I would turn her over my knee on the place.

"When are we leaving?" asked Esme curiously, and was already making traveling plans in her head.

"Tomorrow would be a good day," I smiled, and was happy to see Esme at least was beginning to smile. " I think it would be a good idea to leave Rosalie and Leah in charge, while we're gone, and I don't think we should take Emmett with us, or tell where we go..."

I never got to say more, when my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. The screen told it was Eleazar, and I immediately began to get suspicious. He said he wouldn't run to Fairbanks until tomorrow, so he couldn't tell something new.

"It's Carlisle," I answered, and held the phone to my ear. It was high enough to Esme could listen to, and she looked just as confused as me.

"It is Eleazar," he replied, sounding very serious. "you've got to get to Fairbanks, Claire is at the hospital,"

Time stopped for a moment, while I looked terrified on Esme.

Had Claire been in a car crash, suffered for a fatal illness... or had anyone seen her change shape? I went through all the possibilities in my head, and it got worse and worse. Maybe someone had forced her into something that was to dangerous or a vampire had attacked her... or someone had raped her?

All options were open, and I could see Esme was thinking on the same… what happened? Without thinking about it, I took her hand in mine, and gave it a squeeze before I had the strength to ask.

"What happened?" My voice came out as a whisper, and the panic was already running through my body.

"The hospital called me ten minutes ago," explained Eleazar. "Claire was found unconscious on a road four hours ago, and was taken to hospital... the doctor said she had taken drugs,"

In a moment, I thought I heard wrong.

Had Claire been taking drugs?

In my head I couldn't imagine Claire, who seemed so innocent, take drugs! Had she been forced... had someone held her, and forced a pill into her mouth? I had never thought she could find on such a thing, or were drug dependent.

"What happened?" I finally asked.

"The doctor couldn't tell me much, but asked me to come as soon as possible. He said it was a large overdose, that had caused her to pass out on the road, and she lies unconscious at the hospital. They couldn't tell me anymore, but I, Carmen and Tanya is on our way, and is making sure no one realizes what she is,"

"We will be there within the next four hours," I said quickly, and looked over at Esme who nodded. The happiness was now gone, and had been replaced by fear of Claire's fate. Even I was in panic, and I felt powerless when I was so far away from her.

"I'll see you there," said Eleazar. "And I promise to call you if anything happens,"

Then he stopped the conversation, and without a word I grabbed my medical bag from the table, with everything I could need. Esme grabbed a bunch of money from my drawer, and two credit cards before we ran downstairs.

"CHILDREN!" I called, and placed myself in the middle of the room. Esme stood by my side, and I took her hand without thinking about it. She already had our coats in the other hand, and there was only one thing we needed to do.

In a moment came Emmett and Rosalie down the stairs, and looked wonderingly at us. They could see something had happened, because of our facial expressions. Jacob, Leah and Seth came down the stairs too, and stood next to their siblings. They were all quiet, with sad eyes that stared wonderingly at us.

"What happened?" asked Seth nervously, and was the first to break the silence.

For the first time in my life, I couldn't find a way to start the talk. There were no words that could help me to tell this in a proper way, and I looked helplessly at Esme.

"Claire is at the hospital," sighed Esme, and my five children looked chocked at us.

"What happened?" asked Emmett in panic, and was the first to react. "Is she okay? If someone has laid a finger on her, I swear they are going to be more than sorry! "

"We don't know what happened," I said hoarsely, and could finally say something. "But she took an overdose of drugs, and lies unconscious at the hospital,"

There was complete silence in the room, while my kids tried to understand what I told them. They all looked surprised, even though Rosalie looked more annoyed, and Emmett was angry.

"If someone has forced her to take drugs, I swear..."

"We don't know if it was her, or she was forced," interrupted Esme, and looked sad at him. "That's why your father and I are going to Fairbanks now..."

"I'm coming with you!" Interrupted Emmett, and understood he was supposed to stay home. "I will not sit here and wait, without knowing what's going on!"

I understood what it was Emmett felt. For him, Claire was still his little sister, and he was worried about her. I would refuse to be here at home while Esme left, but I also had to think about Claire. We needed to talk to her before we went home, and it wouldn't be a pleasant talk. I was afraid she would say something that could hurt Emmetts feelings, and I wished I could do this without Esme too, and protect her from Claire if she was angry.

"Emmett, you and your siblings will stay home, only Esme and..." I began, but Emmett interrupted me furious.

"No! I am not going to wait here while you two comfort Claire! I'll..."

"No Emmett," I hissed. "We're wasting time discussing this, and if you argue any more I am ground you!"

I knew it was a harsh punishment, when he only wanted to be near his sister, but I wasted time right now. Claire needed both of us, and I could have been out of the door right now.

"But..."

"No buts, you stay home and take care of your siblings, and I promise we will call you as soon as we know something. However, do not consider sneaking after us, because you will get a free trip over my knee, understood?"

"Yes dad," muttered Emmett sad, and looked wide-eyed at me.

The guilt washed over me, and I was ashamed of the words I had said. Emmett was only trying to make sure Claire was okay, but I was in panic right now. Claire's safety was the only thing I could think of, and without saying anything, I went over and gave Emmett a hug.

"We need to talk some things through with Claire, I don't want you to experience. With Tanya, Eleazar and Carmen will we be many in the hospital, and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable when she wakes up. Furthermore, we are much older than you, and have more control over our thirst, so we will not be so easily be distracted by the blood at the hospital, "I explained, and could see Emmett began to understand. I could already see he had forgiven me for the way I had spoken to him, and he gave me a bear hug.

"I understand Pops ... just make sure she comes home," he murmured into my ear, and let me go.

"I will make sure of that," I promised, and give him a smile before I look at all of them again. "Rosalie and Leah , I leave the responsibility to the two of you, while we're gone, and if there is anything, call us," I explained, and gave one of the credit cards to Rosalie, who to my surprise no longer looked irritated ,but worried.

"Just make sure my little sister is okay," she smiled.

I looked puzzled at Esme, who looks just as puzzled back before we both looked at Rosalie. She had hated Claire until a few seconds ago, and I wondered what had happened. Even after we knew Claire was werewolf, Rosalie hated her... but now she called her sister.

"You better get going," she whispered, and nodded toward the door.

Rosalie was right, and we said goodbye one last time, before we ran toward Alaska. It was much faster for us to run in our vampire speed, than to take a flight. Most of the run was through the woods where no one would see us, and if we ran as fast as we could, would it take about three hours.

And we ran as fast as we could. The wind whistled around us, and in our speed it was impossible to hear what the other said. The trees were a huge tangle of greenery, which flew past our sight, and the only thing I saw clearly was Esme. Our clothes fluttered around us, and could nearly not cope with our speed, while we ran past the three's.

In the three hours, there was nothing else to do than run and think.

And all my thoughts were about Claire.

It was hard not to think about what had happened, and I had never imagined she would take drugs . My mind was filled with panic, at the thought of it was other doctors who treated her, and not me. They had her life in their hands right now, and what if they give her a wrong treatment?

What if she was dead when I got there?

The fear swept through me, as I imagined Claire lying there cold and lifeless, with no heartbeat. Before I could think more about, I reassured myself with she was a werewolf, and could survive more than normal people.

But it also meant something else.

I couldn't understand if someone had forced her to take drugs. As a werewolf, she needs much bigger doses than normal people do, and those who had forced her would stop before she could feel an effect. If she had been given an overdose, she had to take an extremely big amount, and even if someone tried to kill her... they would have stopped before.

So Claire had decide to take drugs, which disappointed me more than anything else.

I stopped my thoughts there, and tried to focus on something else the rest of the trip. The easiest thing I could focus on, was how much I looked forward to see her again, after five weeks.

The day she left us had been horrible. When I finally got home, after I had found her necklace, I had noticed the sad atmosphere for the first time. All my children had been in small groups around the house, and mates was together to comfort each other, while Leah, Seth and Jake had been on Leah's room, and comforted each other. As I walked past Rosalie and Emmett's room, I had heard Emmett's cry, and Rosalie did everything to comfort him. I had known I couldn't do anything, and had looked for Esmes instead.

To my surprise, she was not in our bedroom or my office. I had searched through most of the house, when I walked past the door to the library, that had been Claire room.

What I found inside still make me cry.

Esme had been sitting on the couch, with tears running down her cheeks, and had held Claire's pillow close to her chest. We had been sitting there for hours, while we both cried over the loss, and Esme had refused to let go of the pillow. Claire's scent was on it, and I knew why Esme did it ... it reminded her of Claire was alive, and wasn't a dream.

Since then, no one had walked into the library, and no one had removed the pillow.

I stopped my thought there, because we came to the outskirts of Fairbanks. If I had a heart, it would beat faster by now, because I knew Claire was so close. Without thinking about it, I took Esmes hand in mine and together we took a taxi to the hospital. None of us had said anything for hours, and I looked nervously over at Esme.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked nervous, and wondered if it was best I went in first, if it was too serious.

"Let's find our daughter," said Esme determined, and went inside without a word.

Inside Eleazar stood by the front desk and waited for us. He had a serious expression that told me this was bad. When he saw us, he went down the hall, and signaled we should follow. In the end of the hallway he finally stopped, in front of a green door. There was no greeting or happy talk... he went straight to the point.

"She's still unconscious, but before you go inside, you need to know it was an very serious overdose. The doctors had to put a tube down to her stomach, in order to clean her stomach from drugs. They found evidence on she had taken large amounts of LSD, and some heroin. In addition, she had been drinking a lot of alcohol before, and she couldn't breathe. It is only half an hour ago, she began to breathe by herself, and they removed the respirator. They also found evidence on use of hash, and doctors say it's a miracle she survived,"

For everything Eleazar said, I became more and more afraid.

Alcohol, hash, LSD... Heroin! How much did she take? Words such as tube and respirator made me shake inside, and fear rose up in me.

"Will she survive?" asked Esme nervously, and looked more worried than me.

"The doctors say she is healing incredibly fast, and she can wake up in every moment it should be, but none of the doctors has been suspicious. One of the doctors thought she had a high fever and her blood pressure was too high, but I made sure she is of duty until Claire is gone," answered Eleazar.

I was grateful Eleazar had taken care of everything, while we had been too far away. Claire had a higher body temperature than humans, and doctors would believe she had fever. If we were lucky we were able to avoid they took her temperature, if I told I already had taken it, but otherwise it might be necessary bribe some of them, or cool Claire down with ice packs before the doctor came in. I hated the last idea, but some of the doctors did not liked to be bribed.

"You have done us a great service, Eleazar," I thanked, and meant it with all my heart. "I don't know how I possibly can repay you, but if there's anything I can do, please do not hesitate to tell,"

"We are family" refused Eleazar, and smiled. "I could never ask about anything, after everything you've done for us. You're like a brother to me, and I can see you consider Claire as a daughter, and if she is your daughter, then she must be me and Carmen's niece," he said proudly, smiling.

I didn't think Claire would like _Uncle Eleazar_, so I prayed for he didn't use that name in front of her, even though I was glad he accepted her. However, I do not think Claire shared our view, and when she woke up it would be a tough fight.

"I'm glad you see it that way," Esme smiled and looked longingly at the door. "Can we see her now?" She asked nervously.

"Of course," smiled Eleazar, and opened the door.

With slow steps I walked into the room, and took Esmes hand in mine. Inside sat Tanya and Carmen on two chairs by the bed, and stood up when we came in. It was a one-man room, with a single bed pushed up against the wall, near the window where there came a single beam of sunshine inside.

In a moment, I forgot how her face looked like, while I stared with horror at the girl in the bed.

She seemed pale and cold, with the dark hair that framed her face, and the blood veins that could be seen clearly through the skin. She looked thinner than the last time I saw her, and seemed helpless as she lay there without moving. Her eyes were closed, and her mouth was a straight line, that made her looked like someone who was asleep, but she was also looking sick. Her skin had a grayish cast that made her look sad, and even in sleep she seemed unhappy.

And then, like she only had waited on our presence, she opened her big blue eyes.

* * *

So Hello again :D

So what do you think about the chapter, good… bad? :D

Is Carlisle gonna give her a spanking soon, and how is Claire going to react then she see them?  
and what is she going to think about Tanya, Eleazar and Carmen? :D

Find out in next chapters :D

And thanks for all the lovely reviews, that I beg you to continue with :D

Special tanks to Jules Ann for her PM, og for Carlisle Cares :D


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Claire P.O.V

_The sun was shining in my eyes, and I blinked several times before I got used to the light. Summer had finally arrived after a long winter, and everything smelled new and fresh, like the world had been reborn. A bird was singing in the far corner of the park, and reminded me of better days where everybody was happy._

_Mason was sitting with his back against the tree, with closed eyes, while he was playing with my curls. My head was resting in his lap, and my eyes were on Mason, who seemed to be in his own world. Mason looked like a fourteen -year-old, even though he was only twelve. There was still something childish about his face, but most of it was gone, and he wasn't acting like a child anymore. All the childish talk was gone, and had been replaced with serious questions, that referred to our society and future._

_I don't know what people thought when they saw us. Maybe they thought we were older because Mason had a cigarette in his hand, or maybe they weren't noticed us at all? Nobody looked in our direction, because we were just air. They were too busy to see us, and I liked it that way. _

"_What do you dream about?" asked Mason thoughtfully, and ran his fingers through my hair._

"_As for what I dream here and now, or in the future?" I asked wondering, and had no idea why we were talking about this._

"_In the future," he replied, and took a big drag of the cigarette, before he gave it to me._

"Can you hear me? I am you doctor and you are at Fairbanks hospital,"

"No reaction sir,"

Voices, pain, all I could see was misty figures around me, screaming of each other. A pain went through my body, while I was struggling to breathe and stay alive. I wanted to open my eyes or move, but I was too tired to do any of it.

_"I don't dream about the future," I answered honestly, while my hands touched the soft grass._

_"You must have some kind of dream," said Mason offended. "Dreams is what make us living,"_

_That was the difference between me and Mason. He continued to believe the world was a good place, and we all would end up happy, and live side by side. He still thought that if you believed enough in something, it would happen. _

"_You're wrong," I sighed, and sat up. "There are dreams and reality, two things that shouldn't be mixed together. One is purely fantasy, while the other is realistic and true. We live and then we die Mason, that's how the world is made, there is nothing in the middle, and no dream that makes it all better,"_

I felt hands all over my body, and sharp things were stuck into my skin. Someone was shouting about a girl and her family, but I couldn't hear what it was about. Light flew past my eyes, and the only thing I really could feel was pain. The sweet pain that told me I was alive, the only thing that kept me sane.

"SOMEONE! FIND HER FAMILY!"

"_Well I am still going to dream," pouted Mason. _

"_And what are you dreaming about?" I laughed, and didn't understand why he bothered to talk about this topic._

"_I dream about a new life," smiled Mason, and looked dreamily as he told it._

_"Then it's sad you sit right here, and live this rotten life," I muttered, and gave him the cigarette. _

"_No, I am going to make my dream true, and you will dream this dream with me!" he decided, and sounded like a stubborn child._

"_And how are you going to that?" I asked skeptical._

"_When we are seventeen... we do it!"_

"_Do what?" I asked confused._

_"Move of course," he answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You, me and Nathan. We will buy a farm with the money he have saved, and then we will live a wonderful life," he smiled._

_This time I couldn't help but smile at his ridiculous proposal. Mason looked offended because I didn't took it seriously, but honestly, we were going to die here and the best thing that could happen, was Mason realized that._

_"You want to be a farmer?" I laughed. "Seriously Mason, you don't know anything about animals, and why seventeen years... why not eighteen or fifteen?" I asked wondering, and was trying to be serious._

"_Seventeen just seemed like a good number," he murmured shy, and ran his hand through my hair. "And I would be the best farmer in the world,"_

"_And where should we go, huh?" I asked, ignoring his comment about being a farmer._

"Claire can you hear me?" Asked a gentle voice far away. There could have gone hours, minutes or seconds, I don't know. I had an urge to open my eyes, and see where I was, but I was too tired.

"You do not know me, but my name is Carmen and I am a friend of Carlisle..."

Carlisle ... I had heard that name before, it was something I connected with safety. I couldn't put a face on him, but I knew him. The gentle voice seemed so nice, that I wanted to see her face, so I could see if her face was just as sweet as her voice. She sounded so calm and relaxed, that I began to relax to, and I just wanted her to speak until I woke up.

"I promise you're safe," whispered the gentle voice.

_"To Forks," answered Mason proud, and seemed so innocent like a child._

"_And where is Forks?" I asked wondering, and had never seen the town on a map._

"_Four hours from Seattle," _

_"And how big is Forks exactly?" I asked carefully, and had a bad felling about Forks... if Seattle was four hours away, then it sounded like a small town._

"_I have been there once. My parents took me and Nathan to the town... you know before they died. I don't know why they did it, but you should see the place Claire! It has its own charm, and the little Indian territory... La push or something… you should see their nature, it's so beautiful and peaceful... and the tribe have these amazing legends, about humans that can transform to big wolves... you would love it Claire!"_

_"Mason seriously?" I sighed. "Is that your dream? That me, you and Nathan are going to a new life in, what was I called… Forks? I don't even understand why you parents wanted you to see the place…so can we at least say California instead of…"_

_"Forget everything about California!" interrupted Mason, and stood up angrily. "The three of us are going to Forks... I promise you I will make my dream come true... I will make it to our dream! Just wait and see, before you know we will be in Forks, and have our own farm. There we can forget our life and start on fresh together, I promise you that. I promise you are going to see the town, and hear the legends about the big wolves. That's my dream Claire, and one day I will be yours too," _

_That was my last thought before the darkness surrounded me, and fell into a dreamless sleep._

* * *

Lights dazzled my eyes, and I blinked several times before I could see anything. My eyelids felt so heavy, that it was hard to keep them open, and I wanted to sleep more than anything.

But there was something wrong. I was too tired to move my body, but I could feel some things that shouldn't be there. In the corner of my eye, I could see a plastic tube that went across my cheek, down to the nose. It felt uncomfortable to wear, but it blew oxygen into my lungs, and helped me breath.

There were some small and annoying things on my upper body, that was thin as paper and weighed nothing. I think they had something to do with a machine beside me, that repeated the same sound every other second.

There was something odd about my wrists and ankles. It felt like there was something thigh over them, like a bracelet, but it was too soft so I just dropped the idea about a bracelet.

But what kind of place was this?

My brain told me I was in the hospital, because it seemed logical and I could smell the sickness everywhere. On the walls, pillows and sheets... everything smelled of sickness, and the smell of medication burned my nose. The place reminded me of death and loss, and sick people that never saw the sun again.

But I felt sick.

My skin seemed cold and clammy, like when you've been out for a run, and afterwards has been cooled down. My throat was completely dry, and I was going to throw up, if it wasn't because my stomach felt empty. My head hurt like hell , and I felt someone was screaming of me inside my head. I was dizzy, exhausted and tired, my body was in pain, and I it was hard for me not to feel asleep.

But a little voice in my mind told me I wasn't alone, and I slowly turned my head to the side, so I looked at the wall instead of the ceiling. It took a lot of my energy, and my eyes acted wired. There began to come black spots in my vision, and I needed to wait a half minute before I could see again.

In front of me was three people, one man and two women's. In a way the man and one of the women's looked like someone from Spain, but there skin was having a wrong color, that gave me a confused impression. The last one was blonde, with eyes like the two other, that reminded me of someone I couldn't remember. My eyes were too tired to see any detail, other than the thing that was obvious, like hair color and eyes. The only thing I could tell was they were staring at me, like some wired statues.

"Claire?"

I sat up in seconds, and looked confused around. Even though I was tired, and my brain worked in a slow pace, I recognized that voice like an old loved lullaby. Even through my sight was bad, I could see her caramel brown hair and his golden locks like a sun between the clouds. Their eyes could be recognized from a distance, and there was only one logical explanation on this...

I was hallucinating.

After all I had done to their family, they would never ever visit me in the hospital, so everyone in the room was illusions, and maybe Mason would join the party soon. After I broke their heart's, they would never go to Alaska just to visit me because I took an overdose...

The last days events came pouring into my head like a storm, and it all made sense. The drugs had to be really strong, because they seemed so realistic, even though I had no idea who the three strangers was. Normally you only saw people you knew, when you were hallucinating, but I was willing to make an exception.

"You know you're aren't real, right?" I asked stupidly, and looked tried at Carlisle. My head really hurt, it was difficult to sit up without support, and it was an inner fight not to feel asleep.

For some reason the three strangers smiled of my words, and found it hard not to laugh, while Esme and Carlisle looked confused.

"Sweetheart, you aren't hallucinating... we are real," said Carlisle gently, and walked over to my bed. The woman with the Spanish genes handed him a plastic cup with water, that he accepted and placed in front of my lips.

"Liar," I muttered, and took a sip of the water. "The real Carlisle would never travel up to Alaska, after what I did to his family," I argued, and looked over at the three strangers. "And who are they?" I asked with a demanding mine, that Carlisle gave me a scolding look for.

"Forgive us our manners," said the male, before Carlisle could say anything. "I'm Eleazar, and this is my wife Carmen. The woman next to us is our sister Tanya," he presented, and pointed at them when he said their name. "We are Carlisle's cousins, and live here in Alaska,"

"But why are you in my hallucinations?" I asked confused, and didn't care who they was.

"Claire can you feel this?" asked Carlisle, and let his finger ran over my cheek.

"Yes, I can feel it," I said after a brief pause, and looked wonderingly at him.

"Do you think you would be able to feel it the same way, if you were hallucinating or dreaming?" He asked clever, and sent me a small smile. "Do you think there would be three strangers persons, or that you would be in a normal hospital? Do you see any weird colors, people who go through the wall or other strange things? "

He had a point. This was not my first experience with hallucinations, and they were always more colorful and wired.

"But why would you be here, if you weren't a hallucination?" I exclaimed frustrated.

To be honest, I didn't understand any of it right now, and my emotions were a mess. I had so many questions I wanted answers on, like how long I had slept, and what exactly happened? If Esme and Carlisle really where here, I couldn't decide if I was happy or sad. I wanted them to be her, but at the same time I wished they would disappear forever.

"We will give you some privacy," said Carmen quiet, and pulled me out of my stream of thoughts. Eleazar, Carmen and Tanya was still stranger in my eyes, and I had barely given them thought.

As they closed the door behind them, I turned my focus on Carlisle and Esme. Esme had been quiet until know, and I was begging to be worried about her. Maybe she was in shock, I was not sure, Carlisle was the only one of those two who acted normal, and had spoken to me… maybe she didn't want to speak with me? She had not moved her eyes away from me, since the moment I woke up, I don't know what she was thinking on, but decided she just needed time, and turned toward Carlisle.

"So I'm not dreaming or hallucinating?" I asked hesitantly, and was not sure if I should believe Carlisle. He seemed realistic enough, and there was no strange colors around him, but Mason could also be very realistic sometimes.

"No sweetie, this is reality, you are in hospital it is January 9th, and you have been unconscious since four o'clock this morning," Carlisle informed me, and sounded very realistic. I could even remember it was January 8th yesterday, but I needed more proof.

"If you are really, then tell me what day is my birthday?" I challenged, and Carlisle looked with a raised eyebrow at me.

"Claire, you have never told what day you are born," he explained confused. "I would like to know, but you have never told me," he apologized.

"You are really here…" I mumbled confused, and knew I wasn't dreaming. My illusion of Carlisle would have known my birthday, because my brain knew that day, and Carlisle was coming from my bran and had the same knowledge. But I couldn't help it, and feel guilty when I knew they were here for real.

The only thing I had done, was to break their family apart, and destroy their heart… but it didn't stopped them from rushing to Fairbanks, in the moment they was told what happened. That made me more confused than anything, and I just wanted to cry until I fell asleep.

"Why did you come?" I asked, repeating my question from earlier.

I was still dizzy, and my sight was a blur the half the time, but I could still see the tears rolling down Esme cheeks, and Carlisles confused look.

It was a battle in my mind that made me hesitate to cry, and confess how much I had missed them. I had missed them so terrible, and their faces had haunted me for weeks, but at the same time, it would be cruel of me to start crying. Carlisle and Esme deserved so much more than I could give them, yet they was here to see me wake up. At the same time, I was also angry because they did it, because they made it even harder for me. I wanted everything at the same time, their love and hate, see them smile and be angry on me...

"Why did you come?" I repeated, since no one answered. Carlisle just sat there and stared at me with a puzzled expression, while Esme cried.

"We've missed you," she said quietly, and was at my side before I could say anything. Without my permission, she throw her arms around me and held me close to her body.

I don't know what I felt when she hugged me, and rocked me back and forth. It was something I wanted, but at the same time, it was something that would break my heart a little bit more. I wanted her to stay right here the rest of my life, and say everything was okay, but she would just break me even more.

"Why are you here?" I repeated for the third time, while she rocked me back and forth.

"Because we love you, and have missed you so much," muttered Esme, and finally gave me an answer.

But the answer was not what I wanted to hear, it was far from what I wanted to hear... it was what I feared. Maybe it was because I had a bad day, or simply couldn't understand her answer… I don't know, I was too confused, tired and angry. Nothing made sense in my head, no matter what I said to myself. It could be because of the drugs in my blood, or the medication the hospital had given me... whatever it was that controlled my emotions, made me angry.

"SHUT UP" I screamed, and with a strength that surprised Esme, I tore myself out of her embrace. I was still dizzy, and black spots danced in front of my eyes as soon as I moved, but it shouldn't stop me. I wanted to get away from both of them now, before they told me more of this shit! I started to swing my legs over the edge of the bed, and was ready to jump down on the floor...

But I couldn't.

What had been a small pressure on my wrists and ankles, suddenly became a reality. The feeling grew stronger, and I suddenly realized what it was that held me back. My body had been too tired, so I didn't even consider to move any part of it, but now I realize what was going on...

I was strapped to the bed!

I was strapped down like another criminal murder, so I couldn't get out of bed, or pull something out. Only now, I was really paying attention to it I.V that hung beside me, and the tube that went down to my wrist, or the heart monitor beside me. Even the tube that sent oxygen down to my lungs, had been a background thing for me. I had been so occupied of my own thoughts, that nothing else mattered.

"GET THOSE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed, and pushed myself wildly back and forth. Esme and Carlisle was taken by surprise, and said nothing for several seconds while I screamed. "I WILL NOT HEAR IT! STOP WITH THAT SHIT ABOUT LOVE! IT IS'N REAL, IT'S AN ILLUSION LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE! I HAVE DESTROYED YOUR FAMILY, AND CRUSHED EMMETTS HEART, BUT YOU ARE STILL SITTING HERE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I AM NOT ABLE TO ACCEPT LOVE OR GIVE IT AWAY! STOP..."

I never got the change to say more, because Carlisle placed his hand over my mouth, and pushed me down on the bed so I lay down. Esme was still speechless and cried more than ever, but he had found the gift to speak again.

"Claire, I know it's been a hard day for you, you are tired, and looks really sick, but you dare to raise your voice against us one more time!" he hissed, and was no longer just a bit friendly. "You asked us why we were here, and Esme gave you an honest answer, now you must live with that answer. We came because we were worried about you, and loved you very much. That is the only true answer we can give you!"

Carlisle looked just as angry as I was. I don't know if it was because I had screamed, or because we all were upset, but it took him several minutes to cool down.

Esme looked like a broken puppy, with the look she had in her eyes, and the tears that rolled down her cheeks. I felt like someone who had committed a murder when I looked at her, and saw she was crying because of my words. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, I didn't know how to say it.

After a while Carlisle finally removed his hand from my mouth, and was still angry. The only thing I felt now was guilt, over Esmes tears, but all the anger was gone.

"If you try to scream again or have a tantrum like that, I have a sedative shoot with your name on," warned Carlisle, and went over to Esme on the other side of the bed.

"I don't want to be restrained to the bed," I muttered shy, but it was the last thing should have said.

In seconds, Carlisle turned around to face me, and this time I was scared.

"Well, then you must wait on the doctor, because I am not going to help you with this. The reason you are restrained to the bed, is because the hospital don't want their patients to wake up, and go into panic. In this case I think it was a good idea, and I won't help you before I can see you have calmed down…"

"But…" I began, and tried to protest, but Carlisle was ignoring me.

"Let's go out and find a doctor who can give Claire a checkup," muttered Carlisle comforting to Esme, and pulled her toward the door. "And don't try to do anything while we are gone!" He warned , before he closed the door behind them.

It left me alone with my thoughts, and I finally cried. All my fighting spirit was gone, and the only thing that was left was hopelessness. My whole body was shaking uncontrollably, as I felt cold sweat ran down my forehead, and I began to freeze.

"I must say, you really did a good job!" Commented Mason dry, and I lifted my head confused.

He sat there at the end of the bed, and looked at me with cold eyes. There were not the slightest bit of happiness back, and there was something strange about him that reminded me of death. His hair had lost it shine, and was tangled and dirty, like he was a sick patient on the hospital.

"You're maybe real to" I muttered sarcastically between the tears. I knew I was hallucinating right know, and it was only an after effect from the drugs, but it was the closest I came to the real Mason, him with the beating heart and happy eyes.

"You know I'm dead," commented Mason dry.

"I don't know anything right know!" I snorted, and let the tears ran down my cheeks. "Once I actually thought you were my friend, who accepted my choice and supported them, but now you're only trying to make my life a living hell!"

"Because you're making the wrong choices!" exclaimed Mason. "I am your friend... no I'm more than your friend, Claire you and I, we have something that have no word! You were the one I shared my first kiss with... and God how I wish we had taken the next step, but we didn't . I cannot describe what you are to me, because not even love can cover it!" Explained Mason frustrated. "But whatever we are, I am not supposed to accept your choices automatically! My job is to make sure you're safe and well..."

"You didn't care about those things when you were alive," I interrupted dry.

" No, I wasn't thinking straight when I was alive! I have made many mistakes... but I'm trying to correct them now, I'm trying to give you the life we always dreamed of..."

"No _you_ dreamed of!" I interrupted. "I never asked for any life in Forks, or a family... it was your dream Mason, you dreamed about all this! Do you remember the day under the tree? I said I had no dreams, but you were not listening, because you talked about your own dreams. Eventually I began to believe in them Mason, I thought we could get a new life together... but you lied! From the beginning, it was me who was right, there are dreams and then there is reality, and I live in reality!"

"I'm sorry you see it that way," muttered Mason sad, and walked over to me. "Because it's you that lives in your own little dream Claire," he whispered. "You live in your own little world, where words like love does not exist anymore. Everybody else live in reality, while you live in your dreams where nothing makes sense, but now it's time for you to wake up..."

"Mason, I do not wanna hear..."

"It's time for you to stop dreaming..."

"Mason, shut up! Your words give no... "

"It's time for you to start living,"

And with those words he did what he always did, became one with the shadows and faded away, while my world collapsed.

* * *

Hey everbody! :D

So here is the next update, what do you think?

Was Claire to hard against Carlisle and Esme, or was it the other way around, is Carlisle having right to be angry on her?

And what do you think about Claires flashback in the start, with Mason under the threes?

I thanks for all he review you have made, and hope you will continue :D

**Important! **I really like to edit pictures I Photoshop, and have decide to make a gallery over this story. I have alredy made one of Claire as 16 year old, and one of Mason as 12 year old. That's how I think they should look like, and the links to the picture is on my profile. I hope you would like to see them.

And not to forget, I must really say thank you to Jules Ann, who have made research on drugs treatment, and what would happen if you ended up on the hospital, so it looks realistic. (The restraining is a true fact, so don't take drugs!)

So really thank you to her, and I hope you will look at the gallery, that I am going to update, and remember to review :D


End file.
